Because Of You // BxB smut/fluff

•ShowerStuff•

(a/n) Hi there, just your friendly piece of *cough cough* kinky *cough* trash. I'm a lonely person my dudes, and this is my first story that I'm publishing on Wattpad. (I've written other things, don't worry ahaaaahahhaaa whathasmylifecometo) so please, understand I'm doing this for fun, and I'm not going over to revise for grammar and spelling mistakes. Bare with me here, guys.... WARNING---- there will be some occasional (gay) smut!!!!! You have been warned!!!!

"You think twice about your life, it probably happens at night, right?" -Twenty Øne Piløts•Holding on to you

•Felix's POV•
First came the kiss. It wasn't much, but it turned on a spark inside of me. The way his tongue felt in my mouth seemed so right, almost like we were made for each other. His mouth tasted like cherry vodka that fateful night, and even though I knew it was only a stupid drunken kiss, I wanted more. So, so much more.

I kept my eyes closed as I stood in the shower, steam surrounding my slick body. The back of my neck was almost burning from the streaks of hot water falling over me, but I didn't dare change the temperature.
Behind my eyelids were the countless amounts of times I had stood in this exact same spot, soaking up the warmth of my shower.

This was normal to me- showers at two in the morning, then drifting off into an uneasy sleep. Every night, I woke up panting, my forehead burning with desire. I could never control my lust-filled dreams about him.
The way he touched me was so splendid, I just couldn't help but to lose myself in the thought of it. A classic dream would involve me being pinned against my good old shower wall, finally giving that small bathroom meaning. I spend my time in there daily, washing away all my regrets and fears. That shower is practically what's left of my sanity.
The other half of my sanity is controlled by him- Beck.

God, why am I so obsessed? He's just a simple roommate, and he's plenty close already. We know each other's secrets, our insecurities, yet Beck still seems so far away. I often wonder what galaxy he's locked away in, what far-away ocean he's sailing on.
I've tried so hard to forget that fateful night, but it haunts me, constantly. His soft pink lips frequently plague my thoughts. I feel so strange... I know I'm straight, but whenever I think about Beck, my eyelids flutter open with new curiosity and passion.

My body jolts from the erratic temperature change within the shower water, shaking my from my rumination. The water is now pounding down on my neck, cold as ice. My teeth clench up as I blindly reach for the handle to turn off the shower handle, the frigid stream immediately stopping, leaving a cold, sad mess of a man that I call myself. I sighed, exiting the shower, nearly slipping on the cold tile beneath my feet. So much for my dignity.

The mirror besides my shower is fogged up, causing my reflection to just consist of a blurry face. (A/n: yes I just made a TOP reference. Deal with it.) I peered through the fog, attempting to see something more than just a blurred figure, but I was completely isolated from my awareness of what I looked like. I shuddered, the cool air soaking through my wet skin. I quickly reached out for a towel from the shelf containing all my medications, but I found myself only grasping for air. I was out of towels. I would have to casually venture out through our apartment in search of a towel, going unnoticed by Beck. I shivered, goosebumps rising on my olive colored skin. I slowly faced the door, turning the handle. I could feel the blast of cold air hitting against my skin as I stepped into the hallway. My bare feet padded along the soft carpet silently as I walked through the apartment, holding my breath as I crept along the wall. Suddenly, a very faint sigh slipped out from Beck's room, which I had managed to pass seconds before. At first, I thought he was just snoring, but the breath coming from his room seemed too shallow and quick. Several stifled sobs followed, and curiosity seemed to creep into my brain. Was he crying? Was he jacking off? It seemed too early in the morning for him to be awake, as it was only 3:00 AM.

I shrugged off my curiosity, as sleep started seeping into my thoughts. My eyelids almost felt like weights, and my eyes burned from exhaustion. However, I could still taste the pain in the sobs coming from Beck's room. Every time he gasped for breath, I seemed to take a step closer towards the door, that was slightly cracked open, just so I could barely see a sliver of light protruding from Beck's room. I quietly rose to the decision that he was awake. As I continued to step closer to his door, I realized that my impulses were leading me straight into his room. Before I could stop myself, I had pushed open the door slowly, staring at Beck. His face was stained with tears. His bottom lip puffy from bawling his eyes out. His cheeks were a flushed with a vibrant rose hue, and his strong hands were plastered over his eyes, hiding the two blue oceans that I longed to see. I wanted him to notice me, but I realized that I shouldn't be here. Beck needed time to himself, but my legs refused to believe that, as I continued to step through the doorway, entering the dimly lit room. His bedside lamp cast a purple glow across the cramped bedroom, and Beck's scent hung in the air. I inhaled deeply through my nose, taking time to appreciate his cologne.

"F-Felix...?"

My attention snapped back to Beck, realizing he had removed his hands from covering his sad, icy eyes. He almost seemed entertained looking up at me. I shot him a look of quizzicality, but quickly realized one thing I had completely messed up with- putting on some goddamn clothes. I was butt naked. He didn't seem to care all that much, but I could tell my face was heating up.
"Fuck, I'm sorry, man..."
I exclaimed, quickly covering up my manhood. Beck chuckled, but I could still see the obvious pain in his eyes. I was shocked that he wasn't completely violated by seeing me this way, but I was also quite relieved. His lip quivered, and I could see a single tear rolling down his pink cheek. I looked down, staring at my bare feet.

What was I doing in his room?