A Black, Dark, Nothing

The curtains are drawn. The house is quiet. The only light being emitted is that from her bright laptop screen, but as she closes it with a sigh, the darkness embraces her. Tripping over clothes scattered over the floor and feet brushing over fallen, crumpled papers, she trudges over to her bed. She stretches her hand out to confirm her surroundings and when she feels the softness of her blanket, she climbs onto her bed and lets the sudden change of temperature spread throughout her veins. Staring at the ceiling, she watches she shadow of a tree dancing outside in the wind, the small moonlight creating a striking silhouette. As the tree dances, the minutes go on and soon she finds herself drifting into troublesome slumber.

When she wakes, the sky is grey. She opens her eyes to the ceiling and it looks the same. Her stomach grumbles, but it's not just hunger. There's something else. There's a weight in her chest, right below her heart, and it's weighing her down ever so much... but she refuses to acknowledge it. So she stumbles out of bed and goes to make toast. She walks past a window. She doesn't bother to open it. She walks past a mirror and is frightened by the sight of herself. 

As she eats breakfast, she's not the only one sitting at the table. No one else can see it, and she tries to be like everyone else so she looks down at her toast like it's the most interesting sight she's ever been lucky enough to see. But she can sense it, though. She can sense the presence across from her in all her veins, in her heart and all throughout her body. It's big, but it makes no advance. It simply looms over her, watches her, makes her feel uneasy. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. "Nothing's wrong," she mumbles, to no one in particular, but maybe herself, who needs convincing.

At school, the darkness fades. A smile plastered onto her face, she greets her friends and a small bubble of happy begins to grow inside her chest. It's like a seed, always there beneath the soil, waiting to sprout and now it finally is. And how beautiful it is, with it's lush, green stem and white petals of its flower. As she laughs and jokes she flower grows. Her friend passes her a piece of gum and she beams, taking it in her hand and hiding it from the prying eyes of the teachers. She tells a funny story and her friends all laugh. Then her friend starts talking about...

She doesn't know. She hasn't been paying attention. The darkness returned. 

She was smiling, she remembers that - and then dark, strong, violent hands grabbed her neck and began to suffocate her. As her oxygen supply lessened, the flower inside of her began to die. Petal by petal, it fell away into the darkness of a void and soon the stem began to weep and eventually become one with the soil below. Inside of her, where the flower once bloomed, was now once again a dark, black, nothing.

The curtains are drawn. The house is quiet. Her eyelids falling and her feet weak, she climbs into bed and collapses beneath and sheets. She rolls over to turn off the light and when she does, an overwhelming sadness comes over her. The darkness lays beside her, close, watching. She leans over the void to turn off the light and when she does, the darkness blends in so she can no longer see it. But she can feel it. She can always feel it. So as she closes her eyes she tries something new. She smiles. And then she waits. But the void is still there. The darkness is still watching. And there's nothing she can do. So she lets the tears fall and she closes her eyes. And soon she drifts into a troubled slumber.