It’s been two weeks since then. Adam messages me all the time but I only really reply with random things. School ends tomorrow and I can’t wait except my dad is going away for a week for work. I will really miss him. It’s Thursday night and I’m really bored. I walk into the lounge room and Adam is sitting on my couch with Ben.
“Hey Jessie.”
“Hey.” I mumble confused.
He isn’t meant to be here in my lounge room. I want to so badly give in and let my walls down for him but I can’t and his making it so difficult to keep pushing him away. I know as soon I let those walls down though and he enters my bubble, he will hurt me. I don’t want that. I walk to dad’s study and he is packing for when he leaves, tomorrow night.
“Hey sweetheart.”
“Hey dad.”
“What you doing kiddo?”
“Nothing, I’m bored.”
“Want to help me look for something then?”
“Sure.” I say smiling.
“A document dated 19.9.2008, it was a while ago but it is important.”
I start looking for the document through a lot of papers. I love spending time with my father ,even if it is looking for a needle in a haystack, like right now. I eventually find the document we are both looking for, 20 minutes later.
“Anything else?”
“Yeah, go be a kid.”
“It’s over rated,” I smile.
“No, it’s not. Go watch TV, chill with your brother and his mate.”
I’m avoiding my brother and his mate. I walk to the kitchen and het up some chicken nuggets. The lounge room is full of life, Ben and Adam are talking about cars. Both of them are extremely excited I am just sitting here in my comfy chair with my chicken nuggets listening to them chat about cars.
“Jessie, what is the major obsession with those bloody chicken nuggets?” Ben asks some stupid questions sometimes.
“I like them, duh.” I say smiling.
Adam pulls out his phone and starts texting. Please don’t be texting me. A few seconds later he looks at me and my phone vibrates in my bra. What am I going to do? I’m so scared of trusting gain. I don’t want to trust new people. I’m terrified. Stuff this, I get up and walk to my bedroom playing music. I check my phone.
Adam: Chicken nuggets are your favorite food now, this is very cute (:
Jessie: This has to stop. Please stop trying to break me… it won’t work…
Adam: I don’t want to break you, Jessie. I want to be in that bubble of yours. I want give up till you do trust me. You’re extremely special but you have no idea. One day you will though, I will make sure of that. I don’t want to hurt you. I’m really not that guy, Jessie. Ask your brother.
Jessie: I’m dangerously dangling over an edge. I want to trust you but I learnt my lesson the last time. I got hurt really badly. I want let that happen again. I’m sorry. You have the wrong girl.
Adam: No I don’t. I have the right girl. I just need her to trust me. I am hoping she will eventually because fuck, I have a lot to say to her.
Jessie: Adam, we can’t be friends…
