Internal Hope

1

"Sage!" Mrs. Connors yells from her position at the front of the class. I shook awake from my sleep and realized class was almost over. I had missed just about the whole history lecture. Again. "Sorry.." I say, shyly.

"I'll see you after class." She says with a look that would have been stern, but you could tell there was worry in her eyes. I internally groaned and finished with the notes that were on the board. We had been learning about World War II, and I couldn't be anymore disinterested and bored. I look over at my best friend next to me. Teresa was looking at me worriedly, and I could tell she wanted to ask, but I slightly shook my head, and wrote later on the corner of her paper. She nodded and started to pack up her stuff up.

After class and everyone had left, I tried to sneak out real quick.... but that didn't work. "Sage." Mrs C says. "Y-yes ma'am?" "You fell asleep. Again. Is home still not better?" She says worriedly, while I sat on the edge of her desk. Mrs C is like a second mom to me. First there is Teresa's mother, then Mrs Conners, and then there is my mom. If you even want to call her that. "Not really. No. She is still yelling, crying, or drinking. I just can't stand it anymore. I try to sleep. Putting headphones in, covering my ears, using two different pillows, but then she makes a mess. It happens every night. She calls me to clean it, and if I don't answer to her call, she comes bursting in my room and yells and throws my stuff everywhere."

"I wish you would let me do something, dear. If I could just tell som-" "NO!" I cut her off. "You can't do that. If you do, it will get even worse on me. Even if I get a different home, she will still find me. She always does." "But-" "Sorry. But I can't let you. Please don't." I plead. "Fine." Mrs C gives in, slightly sighing.

And as you can tell from her always finding me, I have tried to run away. It never works. I can go anywhere. And within a week I'm back home. Don't ask how, I don't even know myself.

I give her a hug and a thank you and leave. It's the end of school and I'm glad. I can get out of this hellhole. Or school if you wanna call it that too. I grab my necessities from my locker. Meaning my headphones and my phone. I don't bother with textbooks, homework, or any of that. I shut the locker and walk out the front school doors.

It's around 98 degrees here in this town. Blanco, this small town in central Texas is one of the most beautiful places I've ever been. There are wonderful fields full of flowers and life; the perfect place to take nature pictures.

I spot Teresa standing next to her black 2010 Chevy Colorado. It's a nice truck. And I absolutely want one too, but I don't have enough money, but I'm slowly earning some. It's my junior year and I don't even have a car. How embarrassing. I give her a tight hug and slide into the passenger side. She turns on the music and one of my favorite songs comes on. Move by Luke Bryan comes on and we immediately start to sing/yell the lyrics. We start to laugh and leave to the diner down the street. We start yelling out the window out to the street, earning a few looks as we go down.

When we get out of the truck, fix our outfits real quick, and go inside. I go to the bathroom first and see how I look. I have on a white tank top, booty shorts, and my boots. A normal outfit for girls here. I fixed my long brown hair, wash my hands and go back to Teresa. She sits waiting with our food already there. The normal. I got a burger with everything on it and Teresa got a country fried steak with mashed potatoes; that I usually eat from. And we get a large vanilla shake to share with two cute striped blue straws. Don't judge.

"Mom still being her?" She finally asks, taking a bite of her steak. "Yep. Told me to clean glass she threw at the wall." I say not making eye contact. "Hey. You can stay with me for a few days. You need sleep and I'm starting to get worried about you. You're gonna shut down sooner or later and it won't look good." She says touching my hand. I think about it and finally nod yes. "Let me text her. If I don't give her a heads up she'll kill me." I take my phone out and text her.