Attracting Trouble

Chapter 13: Until it's Not

"Who are they?" I ask, grabbing the picture frame and hold it in front of me.

"That's Marshall," he points to the red-haired, freckle-faced kid standing on Will's right. "His personality is as fiery as his hair." That gets a laugh out of me.

"And that's Jeff." He points to the boy with a very short hair cut that looks like he's tougher than nails. "He is exactly how he looks."

"Are you ever going to see them again?" I ask without meaning to.

"It wasn't war, Jess," he chuckles. "We text. We'll probably do something this summer. I don't know yet."

I set the picture back down and take my place on his bed again. The smell of car wash soap is hanging heavily in the air, but neither of us say anything.

"So, what did you mean earlier when you said you weren't a good girlfriend to Connor?"

When he asks me this, I think about running. I don't want to talk about anything serious. I just want to forget it for a while. But this is the real world, and these are my problems.

"I'm hanging out with you. Despite all my efforts to try and stay away from you - no offense - I end up with you every time. It bothers him, and I know it. But I still do it." When I say it aloud, it makes me feel even worse about myself.

"We're just friends, Jessa," he says but I can tell that isn't what he was going to say. "We're having fun. What would you guys being doing right now if he was with you?"

As he says this, I think about how he is a cheater. Is this what cheaters do? Talk other people into thinking it's okay to cheat?

"He'd be on his phone texting everyone on earth that has a cute face and I'd be trying to entertain myself with a game on my phone or something. They're always like that," I explain though I know I shouldn't. I shouldn't be here, so why am I? And why don't I want to leave?

"I'm sorry that he treats you like that," Will tells me. Our shoulders are touching and it's all-too noticeable.

"It wasn't always like this. He used to be sweet and caring. Then he realized I wasn't as special as he thought, I guess. It used to be different. After you- I mean... he made really happy at one time. But..."

"Then you got to know the real him. Gotcha," Will finishes for me.

I take a deep breath and nod my head.

"You deserve better, Jess." I looks over at him and bite my lower lip.

"Maybe I don't, maybe I do."

"What are you talking about? Of you do. Just because people are disappointed in what you think is right, does not make it okay to make yourself feel like you've failed. Trust me on that." He's seems so determined to make me feel better, though I know better. I know how he hurt me and I know how I'm hurting now. Why can't I just get everything together?

"Not to bring up old fights - even though I am - but didn't you cheat on me and then leave without saying goodbye?"

We're both quiet for a moment. I realize I've stepped out of line, but then again, I didn't. I have a right to still be mad, right?