Perks Of Being A Wallflower // Blake Richardson, Brooklyn Wyatt

1

Maybe I'm better off dead. If I was, would it finally be enough? Would it shut out all those voices in my head? - Sleeping With Sirens, Better Off Dead

Dear Friend,
It's been a while since I last wrote. You'll be pleased to know I'm a lot better than I was. No paranoia or suicidal thoughts, no mood swings or anxiety. I'm happy to say that I'm doing well.

However.. I am starting a new school and I'm really worried. Worried that like my old school I won't fit in. That I'll be bullied for all of it and I hit a low point again.

I really don't want that to happen, and if it does.. What if it's worse than before?

What if I actually succeed this time?

I stopped writing and sighed putting my head in my hands. "I can't keeping thinking like this."

"It'll be fine.." I took a long calming breath. "Totally fine.." I screwed up the piece of paper and threw it in the bin.

I got up from my desk and I looked at myself in the mirror.

"You can do this.. Everything's gonna..." Then someone knocked on my door.

"What?!" I turned shouting towards it. "Alright! Keep your hair on!" The door opened and my annoying brother walked in.

"Did I say you could come in?" I asked, not looking at him.

"Yeah?"

"No. No, I didn't..." I looked back in the mirror sorting my hair out. "What do you want?" I finished and gave him my full attention. "Mom wanted me to check on you. "What? To make sure I hadn't tried jumping out the window or hung myself from something?"

"No... Of course not..."

"Then go away..."

"Maddie..." he sighed. "Just don't okay?" I put my hand up to stop him from coming closer. "Just go.." he just nodded and left.

*

I heard the sound of a car beep outside. "Austin's here!" I heard Levi shout from downstairs.

I got up grabbed my bag and headed downstairs. When I got down there I overheard my mom talking to Levi.

"Look after her okay? Make sure nothing happens." I walked in and she stopped talking. "I'm not some basket case. I don't need 24/7 supervision."

"I never said that."

"Well you pretty much just inferred it."

"Madds... Mom is just asking me to look out for you. Today being your first day. That's all.." Levi trying to reassure me but it didn't work.

"Well I don't need you to. I'm 16 Levi not 6. Okay?" They didn't say anything, so I just walked out to make my way to the car.

"Maddie!" Austin shouted as soon as he saw me. "Austin." I just nodded at him, and got in the car.

"Hey Madds, is everything alright?"