The Lost Mind

Alone trapped in the horror of my mind,
left to ponder how is it I arrived.
As all reality slowly starts to unwind.
Forever lost never found,
Just chained down and left to drown.
Flooded by the haunting pictures of his past,
the boy who feels he should breath his last.

Running, running always running hoping for an escape,
Nothing left, nothing found but the freedom of the blade.
Crying, screaming, shouting this is all I can take.
Pain and sorrow is all I've ever known,
Because no other emotion ever showed.
No one ever came or even asked,
As he faded in the past.

He looked for death, just sweet relief at last.
Sobbing cold and confined in this darkness,
Nothing left but an empty shell riddled in madness
Created by this worlds apathy.
Left contemplating why should I even bother staying alive
When my only urge is for death,
The true sweet secret of joy that only he knows
And I could never truly own.
I follow his hypnotic voice,
Till I can come to the one final choice.
My mind has never been clearer
Till I finally feel him draw nearer.
As my life comes to it's end,
I finally able to feel the joy that had eluded me.

And at my last hour I can finally feel it, what it means to be free.
So void of sadness, void of all that made my mind go.
Now I can become lost in forever.
They didn't care they didn't try,
not once, not ever when I was alive.
Now they spew kind words out as they cry.
Why now in death do you love me.
It took my absence to be the most love, the best or even noticed.
Why now do you try, why even pretend.
This broken heart was way too far gone for you to mend.
So goodnight, good bye and see you never.
Cause I'm finally free, free forever.
-Randy Santos