NOTHING GIRL || Remus Lupin

-Thirteen: Thunder to Greensleeves-

"Hey, Sirius?" Lin called over, friendliness dancing about her tone. The dark haired boy looked up.

"Yeah?"

Jade looked ready to facepalm. Both she a Helia knew what was coming next. Lin had never heard of subtlety when it came to her own personal life, refusing to acknowledge it.

Lin grinned at Sirius. "Do you have a crush on me?"

Sirius didn't even blink. "Yeah."

Lin laughed. "Awesome."

And then Sirius turned back to Remus, and Lin turned back to Jade and Helia, and the world kept spinning.

"What the actual fuck?" Jade was glancing between Sirius and Lin with disbelief on her face.

Lin shrugged. "So, it wasn't the Pygmy Puffs." she said simply.

Just then, Marlene McKinnon walked into the room and Jade's face flushed red again.

.........................................

Jade was leaning against a wall outside the Great Hall.

It would be breakfast soon, but Helia was being boring with her face stuck in a book and Lin wasn't up yet. So Jade amused herself by watching a group of first year boys as one of them tried to get up the courage to go over to a pretty third year girl and ask her out. She didn't even notice as Marlene McKinnon sidled up next to her with a grin.

"What'cha doing?" The girl asked, startling Jade, who went a very precise maroon colour. Jade had been avoided Marlene ever since last year, when she had been drunk on Christmas Eve (Because it was a tradition of Jade's to get drunk on Christmas Eve, even when Helia and Lin didn't want to join in) and let slip a certain secret.

"Just," Jade gestured to her position. "Standing."

"Mmm hmmm" Marlene tapped an immaculate nail against her chin. "Can I speak to you?"

"Er," Jade cursed herself for being so laconic. "Sure."

..............................

Remus stared down at his bowl of porridge.

It was normal looking porridge. The elves who worked in the kitchen had mixed in some strawberries and golden syrup. It was what he had every day. None on these facts, mind you, are an adequate reason to stare at porridge. 

He was thinking about- he didn't know what he was thinking about. His mind was dancing and spinning about, too fast for him to catch up. Thoughts diving in and out of each other, like a flock of birds or a shoal of fish; mesmerising in their impossible twists and turns. His brain did that sometimes, about a week after a full moon; shot around and ricocheted off the sides of his skull, leaving him behind. It happened more when he could feel Helia looking at him, like his nerve level shot up to a thousand.

Behind him, he could hear snatches of a whispered conversation between Jade Wood and Marlene McKinnon:

Mar: C'mon

Jade: *unintelligible mumbling*

Mar: It's not that difficult.

Jade: *still muttering* Yeah, sure. Easy for you to say that.

Mar: It is actually. Watch.

Remus was suddenly aware of Marlene, pushing him to the side slightly as she pulled herself onto the bench and stood up, her hands held in the air for attention.

"Excuse me!" Mar called. "Ladies, gentlemen and Slytherins!" Remus twisted slightly in his seat to see Jade blushing more furiously than he had ever seen her. She tugged on Marlene's robes slightly, but the other girl ignored her. "I would like to announce that I am as gay as the New York Pride Festival!"

Some people cheered. Most just stared. Someone threw a plastic cup at her and said "We know, McKinnon." The few teachers in the hall this early were looking extremely flustered. Dumbledore had a twinkle in his eye. Remus caught Helia glancing up from her book with an amused expression.

"That will be all." Marlene clambered down from her perch and stood on the stone floor once again, facing Jade, who appeared one part admiring, one part scandalised and one part terrified.

"See: easy." Remus heard Marlene say to Jade. He couldn't see Jade's expression, but heard when she turned and ran from the hall, footsteps tapping lightly on the ground.

Marlene pulled herself onto the bench next to Remus. "Well, she could have taken that better." she muttered.

Remus turned to her with pity in his expression. "Not everyone's you, Mar." he pointed out.

Marlene grinned at him. "Yeah, but wouldn't it be so much better if they were?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Someone has to go after her." he said.

"Yep. And it's going to be me." Marlene replied, winking at him. "But I figured it would be fair to let her have a head start first."

Marlene tapped her feet against the floor ten times and then got up to leave, but before she did so, she leaned over to Remus. "You could take some advice from what you've seen today, as well."

Remus threw his hands into the air. "Why does everyone think I'm gay?"

Marlene sighed. "Poor Moony." She shook her head sadly. "I meant, you should take my advice about telling a certain someone else about your feelings." She seemed to reflect for a second. "Though maybe don't do exactly what I did. Try a public place, but do it quietly. Subtly."

"You." Remus pointed at Marlene, the girl who had just jumped on a table top to announce her sexuality to the world. "Are giving me advice about subtlety?"

Marlene shrugged. "No, I'm giving you advice on not getting brutally murdered by the crazy girl you have a crush on."

Remus rested his head on the table, porridge forgotten and alone in this cruel, dark world.

"What if I don't have a crush on her?" He said, voice muffled.

Marlene shrugged again. "What if the sky turns green and rains potatoes?"

"It will be the best Saint Patty's day I've ever seen." Remus replied but, when he lifted his head, Marlene was gone.

Across the hall, Helia was watching him. As their eyes locked, Remus remembered her quicksilver smile of a week ago. He remembered how it transformed her face into summer, where previously winter had reigned. He remembered wondering how he ever thought her gaze was icy, when her eyes were too dark a blue. They were more like pools. Dark and fathomless, with no clear end. He didn't know if he liked Helia; she made him feel confused and oddly comfortable while also being uncomfortable at the same time.

But what he knew, with a sort of desperate certainty, was that he wanted to see that smile again.