KISS OF REVENGE
Characters:
NICK WEBER – Ex-boyfriend of Leah, 60, Hollywood Director
LEAH KELLER – Ex-girlfriend of Nick, 50, actress
It is evening in spring in a New York City Park Avenue Apartment overlooking Central Park. The living room of Nick Weber features Jazz great portraits on the walls and modern, abstract art. There is jazz faintly playing. There are white calla lilies in vases on the tables.
As the scene opens, a lone woman dressed in white disguised with dark sunglasses and dark wig stands by the apartment door waiting for the occupant to arrive. One hears the key go in the door. A be speckled man enters carrying a bag of groceries, French bread pops out of bag. He utters something under his breath.
Nick: I am so hungry.
He enters and sees the woman and drops the bag.
A look of being startled appears on his face, he stands frozen. The woman approaches him and throws off her wig to the carpet and takes off the sunglasses.
Nick: Ha, hah, it’s you, you startled me. I can relax now. How did you get in here?
Leah takes out her gun and sticks it to Nick’s head.
Nick: Let me at least sit down. Don’t kill me now, give me a chance to explain myself.
Leah: Go sit down, I hate you.
Nick: I can see that. Why would you want to shoot me? Why don’t you take that gun away from my head? I can’t think like this. Yes, I have to think. Relax would you? There’s no need to shoot. I’m afraid of guns; I’m getting one of my attacks.
Nick starts to hyperventilate.
Nick talks to himself.
Relax, relax. It’s only a gun.
Leah takes the gun away from his head.
Leah: Now, you know what suffering is. I’ve suffered for years since you left me for that teenager. The teenager who was my adopted daughter. The teenager who had mental deficits and I helped her. The teenager I loved until you took her away. Do you know what that does to a person? Can you fathom the evil you have done? How could you, you’re a little weasel, that’s what you are, a weasel. A slithering, putrid weasel that weaseled his way into my home and deceived me with words of love is what you are. All those years I was so stupid believing we were going to be together forever, a love nest. You were going to marry me and we were going to build a family. I thought you loved, me that is what you said. You’re a liar, a cheat and a child stealer. I was so naïve. All the time you were plotting to torture me, to steal my child and break my heart.
Nick: Calm down, I was never plotting. He pats her on her lap. I did love you. I never planned for any of it. It just happened. I fell in love. You were never around except for a half hour a night, you were always busy. I felt neglected, lonely. I kept telling you, I need you. You didn’t pay attention. You just kept paying attention to all your kids, not me. I was left out. I never planned to hurt you, I hid it. I thought we would just marry and be happy but it didn’t happen. You kept moaning, always moaning, telling me how I didn’t do this, I didn’t do that. I knew I wasn’t the man for you. I was too imperfect for someone like you, you have high standards. You’re a moral woman. I’m an immoral man, that’s why I did it. I’m happy now. I’m with someone that waits on me, never criticizes me, and tells me I’m her everything. She always has time for me. Her life revolves around me. I don’t have to ask her for time. She’s always there. She doesn’t have a career like you did. I’m her career. She focuses on me and the children. She’s happy and I’m happy.
Leah: Well, I’m not happy. What you did to me broke my heart and ruined my life. I want you to have a little of that. Why don’t I just hit you right now?
Leah punches him in the face and knocks off his glasses. He covers his face. He picks up his glasses and puts them back on.
Nick: Come on, that hurt. I don’t want to be your punching bag. You know there’s a law against this kind of stuff. You break into my apartment, pop me in the head, threaten me with a gun. You could go to jail, get the electric chair. You know, my wife may be coming home soon, or the housekeeper could be coming soon. You’ll find out. I think you should leave now. I get your message. You hate me, I understand. Well, I don’t hate you.
Nick moves closer to Leah on the couch. He gently touches her shoulder.
Nick: Why don’t we eat something? I brought home some cold cuts and some French bread. It fell on the carpet over there. Come on, I’m starving, we can talk about this after.
Leah: I guess.
Nick gets up and gets the food out of the bag and enters the kitchen. He proceeds to unpack the groceries on a long table. He starts making sandwiches.
Nick: How about a ham or turkey sandwich? Which one do you want?
Leah: I want a ham sandwich. Do you have any mayonnaise? Lettuce?
Nick: I do.
Nick reaches into a kitchen drawer and brings out a knife; he conceals it in his pants pocket hurriedly. He brings the two sandwiches into the living room. He places them on the table.
Leah: I don’t know how this is going to end. I brought a tape recorder with me because I want you to confess what you did was wrong and your sorry for what you did to me and your going to give me a million dollars. I think a million dollars will cover it for all the pain and suffering I have endured.
Nick almost chokes on his sandwich.
Nick: A million dollars….How did you arrive at that sum? I don’t think I owe you a million dollars. I mean, a lot of men break up with women, they don’t pay them a million dollars.
Leah: What you did was ruin my career in Hollywood, blacklist me and you’re telling me it isn’t worth a million dollars? If that is how you feel about it then I will get even with you tonight. I have no more money left in my account, since you’ve made it so no one hires me anymore. I don’t have any reason to not shoot you.
Nick: Please don’t shoot me. My life is precious to me, and my wife and kids. Your life matters to your children.
Leah: My children are grown now. When they were babies they needed me and I was there for them. Now, they have left me. I’m all alone. Once in a while I see them. I’m very needy. Unless I have other people at my home I’m miserable. I’m happy with a big crowd of children who need me. Now, I’m not. I know I’m an actress, but no one is hiring me because of you.
Nick: It’s not because of me. I never blackballed you. It’s Hollywood, you’re not young anymore. You got plenty of roles when you were young. I mean you were so talented and beautiful. You still are beautiful.
Leah strokes her hair and smiles at him.
Leah: Thanks. You think so. I mean, look how old I am now. I’m 50, ancient. I mean I take care of myself. I’m always dieting.
Nick: You’re still beautiful. But, you know I’m married now. Or else, I’d consider you know, us.
Leah: Really. That’s kind of you; I mean I’m really lacking confidence lately. I haven’t met anyone that I’d consider you know a relationship with. Everyone is either in a relationship or married or too young. It’s just tough and you know I’m a romantic. Remember all the times we used to go watch those silly love stories at the movies or sit at home and I’d cry?
Nick: Yes, I remember.
Nick reaches over and holds her as she cries on his shoulder. Then suddenly, they are kissing and hugging and one thing leads to another.
One hears a key in the door and a tall, young attractive woman enters. She sees the two in embrace and screams. She ushers two children out of the room.
The man jumps up from the sofa half dressed with the woman half dressed. shots from a gun fly across the room. The young woman is holding the gun.
The man and woman lay on the carpet together.
Fade Out
