YOU FOUND ME ⇢ KUROKEN

YOU FOUND ME

Notes: I made a Wattpad just to post this. Literally pure angst, no happiness AT ALL (okay, only a little at the beginning, but not really depending on how you look at it), unless you like Kuroo and Tsukishima and dislike Kuroo and Kenma (which is the exact opposite for me lmao) There's levyaku if you squint. This entire thing is based off of You Found Me by The Fray, hence the title. inspired by an AMV I saw on youtube, I'll leave a link in the bottom notes.

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Kenma woke up in his and Kuroo's bed, with Kuroo actually in it. He looked over at him, slightly surprised he was actually there. 'He probably got here during the late hours.' Kenma thought, because Kuroo was definitely not there when he went to bed.

The fact that Kuroo could come home and still sleep next to him like he still loved him was disgusting to Kenma.

Yaku, the only other person who knew about Kuroo's affair with Tsukishima (other than maybe Lev, because Yaku asked once if it was okay that he knew), was befuddled as to why Kenma hasn't broken up with Kuroo yet. As far as Kenma knows, Kuroo has been cheating for a little over a year now, possibly more than that. Yaku is constantly lecturing Kenma about how staying in relationship as unhealthy as this is gonna cause him to become extremely stressed, and could affect his physical and mental health. But Kenma never listened.

Kenma was awoken from his zoned out state when Kuroo moved his body to face towards Kenma with half-lidded eyes, obviously still tired.

"Hey, Kenma." Kuroo smiled at Kenma and stroked his hair in a way most would find lovingly. It definitely wasn't in their situation.

Kenma decided not to swat away Kuroo's hand and just got up and out of his bed, instead. He refused to call it his and Kuroo's bed anymore, considering Kuroo barely even sleeps in it anymore.

Kenma sighed, frustrated, when Kuroo gets up as well, and follows him go their kitchen. Arms wrap around Kenma's waist as he goes to make the same breakfast he has every morning, cereal, considering he can't cook well, and has no motivation to learn. That's what Kuroo used to be there for.

"My parents want me to come stay at their house tonight after work. Something about wanting to discuss my mom's sister's wedding." It amazed Kenma how many excuses Kuroo could come up with to go fuck Tsukishima every day.

"Alright." Kenma replied, voice cold and empty. Kuroo kissed his cheek and left to go get ready for work. Kenma didn't have to work that day, meaning he'd be alone the entire day. 'I'll probably just play video games to distract myself from Kuroo.' Thought Kenma.

As soon as Kuroo left for work, Kenma couldn't focus on the game he was playing. There was no way he'd be able to focus, so he turned it off and called Yaku. They worked together, so he knew Yaku had the day off as well and would be available.

"Hey, Kenma. What's up, is everything fine?"

"Yeah, just got bored. Kuroo's gone, of course."

"That's no surprise. You need to do something about this. You can't go one in such an unhealthy relationship like this. If I found Lev cheating on me, he'd be out of my life in 0.2 seconds."

"I will eventually. I just don't make enough money, so having him help pay for stuff helps."

"That's a lie and you know it. What's the real reason you won't break up with Kuroo?" There was a brief silence before Kenma answered. He himself didn't even know the real reason he hadn't broken up with Kuroo. He knows it's for the best, but...

"I'm scared."

"Of what? Wouldn't it be better to not have to live with something like this holding you down?" Yaku was right. "It's like you think what he's doing isn't wrong."

"What he's doing is wrong."

"Then break it off."

"I can't forgive Kuroo. But he stays on my mind."

Kenma hung up, not letting Yaku answer. He started to do something he hadn't ever done, even after he caught Kuroo and Tsukishima the first time. He started crying. A few stray tears turned into full on sobbing into a pillow. He still loved Kuroo and he hated himself for that.

He ignored his phone's constant buzzing, probably from Yaku trying to call him back.

Kenma never realized how insecure this made him feel. Did Kuroo not love him anymore? The answer seemed obvious, but Kenma wasn't so sure. He wanted to believe Kuroo still did, but it was hard to.

Does Kuroo still love Kenma, but like sex with Tsukishima more? Did Kuroo ever even love Kenma? If Kuroo doesn't love him, why hasn't he decided to leave him? These were all thoughts that ran through Kenma's head, causing him to sob even louder. What could have he done wrong?

Kenma cried himself back to sleep, eventually waking up hours later. He glanced at the clock, it was 5:13 already. Of course, Kuroo wasn't back, like he would've been normally, if he wasn't off fucking someone else.

He picked up his phone to check his notifications. He had 13 missed calls and a little over 50 angry and worried text messages from Yaku and Lev. Most told him not to do anything stupid.

How Kenma found himself in his phone app calling Kuroo? He didn't know. He had no clue what he'd even say. It's not like Kuroo would pick up anyways.

Not to Kenma's surprise, the call went straight to voice mail. Instead of hanging up immediately, Kenma let it go through subconsciously. When the tone went off, meaning for him to leave a voice message, he was silent not knowing what to say. He eventually found his voice.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you. Good bye, I love you." He squeaked out.

He dropped his phone on the couch, crying, and ran to his bathroom. He looked himself in the mirror. 'No wonder Kuroo doesn't love me. I'm disgusting.' Kenma was disturbed by his own appearance, and began to rummage through the medicine cabinet. He found the anti-depressant pills he was supposed to be taking and screwed off the cap with only some difficulty. He emptied what was left if it's contents into his hand and stared at it. Hesitantly, he tossed the pills into his mouth, and used water from the bathroom sink to help swallow them. He gagged a bit, considering he already had trouble swallowing one pill as it is.

Kenma didn't know if he felt dizzy from the negative adrenalin or because the pills were taking effect on him, but he ended up in his kitchen, hand on the handle of the large kitchen knife in the knife block. He cried more. He began to black out from the overdosage, and immediately stabbed the knife through his lower chest. Kenma's vision went blurry as he screamed in pain, before completely blacking out.

In Miyagi, far from where Kenma was in Tokyo, Kuroo had just turned on his phone while laying in bed with Tsukki. He listened to the voice mail, confused as to why Kenma would call him randomly.

He raced out of the bed and put his clothes on in record time as soon as the message ended, which woke Tsukishima up.

"Hm? Where are you going?" Kuroo ignored him, and ran out if Tsukki's apartment to his own.

When he got there, there were police officers discussing a 'loud noise' with the owner of the apartment building. Kuroo tried to act casual, as he silently moved past them. He decided against the elevator and ran up to his floor.

The first thing he was met with was Kenma's lifeless body laying on the floor, surrounded in his own blood.

Kuroo began to sob at the sight.

"Kenma!" He cried out. "I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry. I love you, too..."

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hshdhaa im a bitch
link to inspo: https://youtu.be/_LW04RM6-cg