Insular, isolated, alone.
That's me.
Abandoned by my parents. Abandoned by my friends. Abandoned by everyone who 'loved' me.
I spend my days wandering the empty school corridors with nobody to talk to but myself.
In some ways I am the corridors. I am empty. I am the toy that no child wants to play with.
I am alone.
My days are a repetitive cycle. I go to school alone. I go to my lessons alonei. I go to lunch alone. I go home alone. I study alone. I cry myself to sleep. I wake up and do it all again. Alone.
I am alone. Always alone.
I sit in the bath tub while the shower sprays water over my head and I cry. The water from the shower hides my tears, but there's no point.
I am alone. Always so alone.
I don't leave my house, save from going to school. Even the dog has abandoned me.
I am so alone. Always so alone.
I have the remnants of what was once a phone next to my bed. I needed a way to save money and nobody ever called me or messaged me on that thing. I stopped paying the contract and I then I took my anger out on it.
Anger at being alone.
Because I am so alone. Always so alone.
I don't even leave the house to go shopping anymore. I do that on my ancient PC.
I am so very alone. Always so very alone.
But I have embraced the loneliness. I have accepted that I will be forever alone. I kind of like the isolation. I am no longer the toy that no child wants because I don't care anymore.
I don't care that I am so very alone. Always so very alone.
The loneliness is my friend. My only friend. My true friend.
The loneliness will never leave me, never abandon me.
I am so very alone. Always so very alone.
But I have a friend for life.
Loneliness.
Loneliness is my only friend. And for once, I am fine with that.
