My Dirty Little Secret

One

“Thanks for tonight.” Calum said, pulling his jeans up his legs. Belle sighed slightly, almost inaudible to the boy as he pulled his t-shirt over his head. It was always like this with him. There would be no calls, no texts, not a word exchanged and then one day he’d show up while her dad and brother were gone, they’d fool around, and back out the window he went only to drop all contact again. It was an endless cycle, a roller coaster that sent her mind for a loop. She knew that she was just a toy to him, something that was always there for him to use. Why she let herself be put in that position, she didn’t know. But she did know how she felt for him.

He, however, had no idea how he felt. It was like trying to crack a code. Every time something had gone wrong in his life, Belle had been there. No matter what, she was steady, an anchor for him. As he slid his Vans back onto his feet, he bit back a smile. Not only was she good for advice, but great for a damn good fuck. And the best part was it was no strings attached. He didn’t need to stay the night, didn’t need to call her after, all he had to do was sneak out without her dad noticing. As he passed her bed on his way to the window, he dropped a chaste, almost brotherly kiss on the top of her head.

“Thanks again.” He said, stepping out the window and onto the roof.

“Anytime.” She said and he smiled to himself. Always reliable, for absolutely anything he thought as he walked down the street and turned the corner. This was always his time to think for himself. That desolate walk through the spaced out neighborhood helped him clear his head, sort out his thoughts. His mind was at its brightest after sex, or so he thought. He was pretty bright normally, in the witty sense. Ask him to memorize a page of facts, no way in hell. Give him the opportunity to a good comeback, though, and you would regret making the challenge. It was all in perspective, really. A person’s level of wit was in no way defined by their academic ability but rather by the path from their mind to their mouth. Calum hummed softly to himself as he unlocked his front door, kicking off his shoes and running up the stairs to his room. He flopped onto his bed, pulling out his phone and scrolling through his contacts, boredom creeping up on him already. He smirked and tapped on Luke’s name, sending out a quick text.

Anything happening tonight? A reply came quickly, meaning a definite event of some sort.

Yeah, Ashton’s throwing a party. You going?

If I can get a ride Calum began to change, knowing the shy boy would jump at the offer to give him a ride. Even though they had been friends a while, Luke clung to an idea that it was only Calum’s popularity that kept him safe, not his own.

I can swing by and pick you up. Be there in about 10.

   Belle combed her fingers through her brown hair, soon giving up on it looking neat and instead she threw it up into a ponytail. In sweats and a t-shirt, she sat on her bed, staring at the wall.

“Why the hell did I even say that? ‘Anytime’.” She muttered to herself. Time after time, she promised herself never again and, time after time, she always gave in. The way his soft lips felt as they moved against hers, how his warm hands would find their way under her shirt and on her waist as he backed her against the wall, how he’d clench his jaw as he- “Enough.” She cut her thoughts off, squeezing her eyes shut and pinching the bridge of her nose. He had a hold over her. More than that, it was a vice-tight grip. She was a prisoner of the mind. She was his dirty little secret, someone he didn’t tell his friends about. She was a skeleton in his closet of many. And she knew of them all. He was one of the only people she let get close to her, one of the people she told everything to. And he just used her. She shook her head, tears welling in her eyes. It was time to put an end to this. She grabbed her phone from the nightstand and opened up a text.

Calum’s phone buzzed in his pocket as he rode with Luke to Ashton’s house. He saw a new text from Belle.

We need to talk. Right now. He smiled to himself, typing out a quick reply.

Up for round two already?

No. This is serious, Calum. Come over. He furrowed his brow and Luke seemed to take notice of his confused look.

“Who is it?” he asked.

“Just some girl in my bio class. We’re supposed to be working on a project together but, you know.” Calum shrugged and Luke nodded.

“Maybe you should help her, mate. Don’t let her do all the work alone.” Luke said and Calum bit his lip.

“I was just working with her before I texted you. She just needed to clarify something.” Calum almost laughed. He was definitely working with Belle. He turned back to his phone.

I can’t right now. I’m busy. I’ll see if I can swing by later. Luke parked along the street and the two hopped out, heading into the party.

                “Damn it.” Belle muttered to herself. Waiting until later meant she’d lose her ambition, her fire to confront him. There was no way he was home at that time on a Friday night. Suddenly, a knock sounded on her door.

“Belle?” her brother said, cracking the door open.

“Yeah?” she asked.

“I’m heading to a party. Wanna come?” Sean was a year older than her and always worried about her being locked in her room all the time. He always asked her if she wanted to come along with him and his friends. Belle only knew he didn’t want her to turn up like their mother.

“Not really.” He walked into the room, sitting down beside her on the bed.

“You sure? It’s at Ashton’s and, if I recall correctly, you used to have a crush on him.” Belle laughed and Sean nudged her with his shoulder. “Come on, you know you want to. I’ll even cover for you.” Belle was about to turn down the offer again when she realized something; Ashton was one of Calum’s bandmates. Calum was probably at the party. She could talk to him there.

“Yeah, I guess.” She said and Sean grinned.

“Alright, I’ll let you change.” He kissed her temple quickly before leaving her room and closing the door behind him.