Something so Familiar

~1~

Mum was twenty three when she died. She was a psychiatric patient. Myself, Amelia, and my twin brother, Harry, were born in the hospital where she spent her last years. We were only four years old when we were told that we would never see her again. I remember we were in a small room with white walls and I was holding a doll, Harry a wooden train. One of the nurses came into the room and held each of our hands in hers. I don't remember exactly what she said but it was something about a holiday just without mummy. We were just too young at the time and they knew that we wouldn't understand why she was gone. We had lived in the hospital since we were born however we just thought it was our home. We were told that we were suddenly leaving everything that we knew. We were never told what was actually wrong with our mum, why she was in the hospital or how she died but whatever it was, it ended her. She was the last patient in the old psychiatric hospital, except for us of course, but it was shut down shortly after she died. Harry is the only family I have left as we never knew who our father was so this is where our journey started and we were sent to our first orphanage.

My brother and I spent the next seven years in various crowded orphanages, packed foster homes and traveling around the country to anywhere that had space for us. Finally we were fostered by a petite, kind lady and her husband who treated us like their own, they had 5 other foster children, and we no longer felt invisible or unloved. We spent the next four years with Bertha and William, the owners, as well as the other children who had grown to be like siblings to us. We went to the small village school on weekdays and on the weekends we would go out or we would play games in the garden and we would always come home to a marvellous feast at the end of each day. For once it felt like I had a proper home and family who loved me.

However on Christmas Eve, while we were all sitting round the fire Bertha became really ill. I still feel like it was all just a bad dream but it's not. The rush of panic, the shouting, the worry across all our faces. The doctor was called for but it could take hours for him to arrive. William sent us all back to bed but no one slept at all that night, how could we? In the morning we might not have our complete family, Harry and I were reliving our worst nightmare. Early the next morning William woke us up and sat us around the table, his eyes were glistening with tears he was trying to hide it, he told us that Bertha had passed away he said that she had heart failure and the doctor was unable to help her as he didn't have the right resources with him at the time. He told us that he couldn't look after us anymore. No one spoke for the rest of that day. The social services were to come and take us the next day and we would all be split up. The morning came and we all went our separate ways. Harry and I carried on to the next orphanage.

We were dropped off at a rusting iron gate and left to walk the rest of the way towards the house. The sun was already setting and I could feel a chill in the air as we walked down the long cracked stone pathway towards the orphanage. I felt a slight familiarity of the place as if I had been there before, maybe a long time ago, maybe in a dream, but I quickly shook off the feeling and continued to walk towards the front door. The orphanage was a large, derelict looking building that towered over us as we stood in its shadow. All the windows had rusty metal bars across them as though it were some sort of prison. Five stone steps led up to a grand oak door with a rusted iron handle. A brass door knocker with a lion head on it hung in the middle of the door. After knocking, I inspected the large gold plaque that was screwed to the wall whilst Harry and I awaited an answer. The plaque was shiny and was engraved with a date: 1877.
This was the year after mum died but apart from that the date meant nothing to me. Suddenly the old door jerked open and we were staring into a long dark hallway. I guess they were expecting us.