Running Out of Time

They see me.

I know they can.  Even with my head bowed, they see me. Their eyes burn holes into my skin and their piercing gazes stab at my heart. They want my secrets. Do they even have to look so hard at me? Aren't my secrets out on display for all to see? Am I as naked as I feel?

Chills run throughout my body at the very thought. Subconsciously, I finger the rough fabric of my cloak's hood. No, I'm fully clothed. Then why do I feel so naked? I am so cold.

Slowly, I lift my eyes from Trusift's saddle. There is a small crowd of people in town today, and hardly any spare me a glance. The town carries on in the morning as always has. People chattering, children shouting, wheels creaking, and animals complaining. It seems like a normal morning in the small town of Lishaln. But this is not a normal day.

Is it possible that they don't know? One look at your face, and they will know for sure.

Immediately, my eyes fall down to the horn of the saddle. Trusift can get us home. He knows the way inside and out. I knew that the trip home would be a hard one and full of dread, but not to this level. I thought the doctor would have told me that I carry the same sickness that took Tally away from my family. I thought that I would have to go home and somehow tell my mother that she is going to loose another daughter.

I was so scared. I have known for a few months that I haven't been feeling well. I tried to dismiss it as allergies or a slight cold, but I knew in the back of my head it was much more. I had hid it so well from my family. They were too taken back with Tally's death and the decreasing value of the family farm to notice that I was falling ill.

If only I hid it better this morning. I was so sure that Mother was still asleep. I didn't see the need to run out into the woods to go get sick. I simply held my stomach tightly till I was behind the barn before I let myself get sick. I didn't think anything of it until I wiped my chin and turned around to find my mother's face painted with horror.

“You're sick!” She had screamed. Even in the pale light of the early morning, I could see the tears brimming. “How long?”

“A few months.” I admitted. “Mother, I think I had what Tally had.”

She pressed her fist against her mouth and squeezed her eyes shut. She was trying so hard to stay strong and fight the tears, but she was failing miserably. “No.” She mumbled. “I can't lose you too.”

“Mother, we-”

Her eyes snapped open, and she waved her hand to silence me. “No arguing with me. Get yourself decent and get to the doctor. I will ready Trusift.”

“But the costs!” I protested. “The farm has been failing, and we can't afford it!”

“You are worth more than debts!” She nearly roared. She was scared, or else she would never use that tone with one of her children. “Now go.” I bowed my head, and did as she said as quickly as I could.