another rejected ode for you - 9:17 PM

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it's a shame I doubt they'd even care,

I doubt he would even notice me slowly falling apart by his hand - the way I am slowly losing touch with reality as each day I prioritize catching glimpses of you. even if you don't speak to me

just be near me, just gaze at me 

keep doing that, please, keep going - but faster, faster, faster! 

cos if you go any slower, honey, I'll end up looking at you through the barrel of a gun - sharing oxygen with the reaper.

but I'm not sure if any of this is real. that dream still presents itself in the oddest of hours - acting as the catalyst to my recurring plight of unrequited love.

boys like you are a dime a dozen. 

overrated, out of touch, self-centered. 

so why is it that I don't despise you yet? so conceited, you can't ever look up at me at the right moment - ('look at me, look at me, look at me!' that's all I ever think, write, breathe these days)

the only remedy is you, honey. but recently all you do is act like poison plaguing my immune system with excessive doses of doubt infiltrating my brain - flourishing - until there is nothing left. 

I'm sick, sick, sick!

sick of writing these odes to you when I know all you'd do is crumple them up and throw them in the garbage along with the chances of us finding love. 

(I'm sorry if I ever underestimated you, my love)

don't bother stopping now though, angel, I love it when you lead me on. 

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