White Lily - A Peter Pan Fanfiction [2/3]

Chapter 4

"Herc said you...stopped work," I stumbled, trying to figure out the exact wording. Felix took a seat, accompanied by a sigh; he was wearing dark blue jeans, his hair as messy as always and he wore an oversized, black hoodie. It felt...odd to see him casually dressed. 

Shoving his hands into his pockets and leaning into the couch, he carefully looked at me as I, took, took my seat. 

"Hades offered me a deal," he said, shrugging. I narrowed my eyes, I glanced back and forth between them both. "Considering I said no, I was forced to work in the mines there for a bit until he gave pity on my hacking skills." I couldn't help but chuckle. "Anyway, I'm back working at the docks with Hercules for eternity," he grumbled and the mood kind of went downsized again. With everyone going silence, I could feel the inevitable coming. And it did. "I'm guessing you haven't gone to see -"

"Of course not," I snapped, a little too angrily than expected. "I...I got my memories."

"But do they matter, after all the years at Neverland?" 

"Felix -"

"You were at Neverland for centuries -"

"Yes, being manipulated and used and being completely oblivious to it for centuries," I sneered through a clenched jaw but Felix narrowed his eyes, his hands still in his hoodie's pockets as he leaned forwards a bit.

"And you still believe that?"

"What else is there to believe?"

"In Peter," he snapped as fiercely as me. His eyes remained as cold as I had remembered them on Neverland, snake-like and penetrating. "You don't know what -"

"What he did - he lied to me, I was nothing to him and yet -"

"YOU WERE EVERYTHING TO HIM!"

I frozen, my back straightening for a second as if being forced to physically react to the yell. I gulped, staring at Felix and watching the anger fade from his eyes...until he eventually let out a sigh, rubbing his forehead and leaning back into the couch; he looked at anywhere but me. "I'm guessing you didn't read the whole story."

"I didn't need to -"

"This is what Pan loved about you - your stubborn ass. You're worse than him sometimes..." Felix grumbled, his eyes still looking downwards. Pursing my lips, I kept my gaze on Felix and ignored the quite-uncomfortable Hercules beside us; Felix repeated himself. "You don't understand."

"Then...bloody hell, Felix, explain it to me then. Convince me that everything I believe is wrong and then maybe - just maybe, I'll give Pan a chance."

Felix shook his head and lifted his eyes that now...only showed sadness. 

"Pan did everything in his power to win, especially after you died. He broke, Serena. He was willing to kill everyone in that damn town to get you back and in the end, he couldn't. Why do you think he hasn't come to see you?" My eyes widened just a tad, my brain and heart not connecting. I felt...that continuous sense of nothingness, which was now horribly confided within confusion; Felix leaned forward, eying me and speaking right at me. "For as long as I've known him, I've never seen him so hurt and lost." 

I clenched my jaw, refusing to allow the tears fall. I could feel them piercing my eyes and the back of my throat tingling, but I didn't let it. He still did what he did.

"He still used -"

"You're so brainwashed by Killian that you can't even remember how much you loved him," he said and almost disapprovingly, he shook his head and leaned back into the sofa. "He did, yes, because he couldn't believe in his own feelings for you, how you could love someone like him. And you saw through that. Just because your dead - that doesn't give you an excuse to see him for what he truly was now."

Felix's words...they hit like a force I hadn't experienced since being alive. A shock impulse of realisation, of guiltiness, of regret - a force of emotions that came in like a sudden wave all at once. I was being selfish, caught up in my problems to not even look beyond my own. "I guarantee, if you go back and read through Pan's book, you'll understand."

But I shook my head, getting to my feet. I had a better plan.

"I don't need to read some book," I grumbled, turning on my feet; as I did so, I could see Herc doing the same, but not moving. 

"Serena -" he started but I chuckled, my hand on the doorknob. I stopped, turning to look at them; I even managed to grin.

"Pan can tell me himself." And just like that, I stepped out of my house and closed the door behind me...and headed to the place I never thought I would step into.