I never expected death to be like this and nor had I really thought about dying. I hoped it would be a peaceful slumber, but it truly was hell.
Sitting at Granny's, I stared into oblivion, being seated in one of the booths. Everyone around me was completely motionless, their eyes as glassy as mine. But to my surprise, I still had self consciousness: everyone else looked and acted...inhumane. I had ordered a coffee who knows how long ago and it was definitely cold. In fact, I hadn't even touched it. I guess I 'bought' it to try and feel more...alive when in actuality, I was dead.
I swallowed down the lump in my throat at that thought. Had it been a day or two - a week? But I did know one thing: Pan was here too...but I couldn't bring myself to face him. He hadn't even bothered to try and find me and in all honesty, I didn't want him to.
I thought slipping into this hell would be easy but truthfully, it was like falling down a hole with flashing memories, over and over until eventually hitting the ground with a painful and emotional thud. The memories I had lost returned to me and I didn't know what to think of them, so I tried not to worry about it...too much. I hadn't been thinking of anything, really. My hands wrapped itself around the cold cup, my eyes staring into the disgustingly brown liquid. When I found out Pan was here, I couldn't feel anything. I had no emotion and I guess that's what it would be like from now on.
But it wasn't just because I was dead. I had died with Killian trying to open my eyes and unfortunately, they had opened with my memories. Everything tied together perfectly and because of that, I felt as if I had switched off my emotions. It's not like I needed them anyway. My hands started to stir the cup, my eyes watching the pathetic coffee stir around like goop.
Since the time I had been here, I'd come to Granny's, sit and contemplate my pathetic existence and situation before returning to my house. I had no idea how accommodation in the freaking Underworld worked, but I did have a place to call home - if it was even worthy of that term. I didn't really need it: I didn't need to eat, sleep, shower, do anything. It was like Neverland...but way worse. I rolled back my lips and almost jumped at the sound of someone sitting opposite me. I looked up surprised, seeing a boy with darkish skin and black hair stare back at me and mirroring my emotion.
"You're new, aren't you?"
"That's one way of putting it..." I mumbled, placing down the cup and dropping my gaze. I don't have time for this. Just was I was about to get up -
"Wait," and I clenched my jaw, sighing as I forced my eyes to meet his browny ones.
"What?" I snapped in reply and he merely looked at me with a tired expression.
"I've been watching you come here, looking confused but doing nothing about it."
"Wow, so I have a stalker now?" I snarled and he even dared to chuckle, briefly shaking his head. And I even managed a smile.
"I just want to help," he said and I sighed, gulping. Did I even want help or was I perfectly content with how I was? I didn't know because, well, I didn't know any different. His 'help' could result in me being reunited with someone I...I...
"I don't need it," I grumbled, getting to my feet. Who does he think he is? Approaching me out of the blue and... Weaving myself through the tables and motionless people, I headed to the exit with the unnamed boy seemingly frozen still.
"I know Felix."
My feet stopped just as I was about to leave the diner, my bottom lip dropping. Despite my 'situation', I could feel my throat tightening and emotions I didn't remember flood back to me: guilt and sadness. I stared at the door, the red hue staining my eyes.
And then my head lowered upon realisation: Felix was dead too. I knew about Pan because I had stumbled across his tombstone, ironically beside mine.
As much as I wanted to push through and leave that stupid place, I turned on my heels to see the boy facing me while remaining in the booth. Taking a steady breath, I replied, "what's you name?" And he smiled, getting to his feet.
With my hands in my trench coat pockets, the two of us walked along the footpath in no particular destination and I had allowed him to talk while I listened in silence with a lowered head once again.
"He got the same job as me," Hercules said, explaining the current Felix situation. "At first, he wouldn't even look my way. He looked...broken."
I swallowed down the lump in my throat, something I was doing quite often now. I couldn't bare to imagine Felix down here in this bloody hell hole. And that reminded me of James...but I didn't say anything. At least, not yet.
"About the day after, he introduced himself and that was about it, until he mentioned you."
"Yeah," he said, chuckling a little. "Went on to saying how he and this Pan guy had this massive plan to win but in the end, both failed." Of course, nothing about me - wait.
"What does that have to do with -?"
Hercules sighed and I stopped at the end of my sentence, my eyes briefly flicking up from the ground to meet his.
"He explained how Pan changed. He was more determined to win, for a girl named Serena. From the timing of everything, I just assumed that girl was - well, is - you," he said and I lowered my head again, looking back down at the footpath as we walked. I didn't have any words so I just kept my mouth shut.
"I just need to find Felix," I mumbled, breaking the ice but when Hercules stopped in his tracks, I stared at him and did the same. He looked momentarily baffled and I wasn't in the mood for waiting. "What?" The boy's expression changed to discomfort and his hand went behind his neck, scratching for a moment.
"He wasn't at the docks yesterday."
"And? So what-?"
"Nobody in the Underworld misses their shift," he mumbled and I took a deep breath, clenching my jaw.
"Well, I don't care. We'll go there now and -"
"No, don't you 'Serena' me. I didn't even want your bloody help in the first place and -"
I put my hand up, my bottom lip mildly quivering. This idiot dragged me out her for something. Was it to lure me to Pan? Did that fool pay this guy to get me out here and begin to trust him? I'm not falling for this.
"You're wasting my time." I have eternity of years to waste but... If I wanted to know what had happened after I died, I would have gone out of my way to know. But I didn't. It's not easy to process what I've been trying to juggle and now all of my pain was coming out as anger towards this guy. To stop myself from making things worse, I turned on my heels and left without another word.
I have forever to make things right, to understand things. After all, isn't that what you've always wanted, Peter?
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White Lily - A Peter Pan Fanfiction [2/3]Fanfiction
Book #2/#3 - a sequel to "White Rose". "You're nothing to me," I spat and instead of throwing the venom, it felt like I was the one drinking it, my throat burning and mimicking my rage. The glistening of tears in my eyes seem to be oblivious to my...