Lonely

Lonley

It was once said in a book that I will never remember the name of, that being lonely and being alone are two completely different thing, but yet are so similar. Said that being alone means that no one is around you. You can be completely alone with no person in a 100 mile radius of you, but not be lonely. You could be completely at home with your thoughts. So at home with them that you don't even notice that you haven't seen a person or heard the sound of someone's voice in years. And in time you may forget what a voice sounds like or what other people look like all together. Because of this you will not be lonely. But when you're alone you could also be lonely. Lonely could be standing in a room of people all laughing and smiling and saying how they wish the night could go on forever. But there you could be, standing amongst the crowd faking a smiling and dying inside, lonely. You could be alone and lonely, your thoughts just making that hole in your chest bigger and bigger, fueling the empty void.
If one was to staying isolated from others for all their life, never talk to anyone, never feel love and affection, than they will never feel lonely because they don't know what company means and what friends are. But the second they are giving even the touch of love and affection they will feel that loneliness. They are given just a touch of it and they will never stop craving it. Loneliness is an infection, spreads from one person to another. This is only after another infection is spread. The infection is love. The loneliness seems just to be a side effect. But once the infection of love is spread and is given to you, you become addicted to it. You can't live without it. There's no way to ease your way out of the drug and find a road to recovery. Because the second you stop reviving the drug the side effect kicks in. You feel lonely, only your thoughts to comfort you. If you don't get the drug you become insane, obsessed with the drug that allowed yourself to instantly become addicted to.
You tell me you're alone, but I here so you must just be lonely. Now you tell me you're lonely, and I ask if that is my fault. You say no, confused with my question. Why would it be my fault? I tell you that. I then ask if it is my fault again. You say maybe so, but that's okay, cause if love is an infection and a drug with an ugly side effect that leaves you coming to me, than you're okay with that. I then ask you why. You say that everyone's addicted and everyone's sprouting the drug fueling others addiction. Without the drug we are lifeless. And if you can be lonely on a day when no one's alone, that means you're only human, and that eventually someone will come along, fuel your addiction and then you won't feel lonely. And at the end of the day you're all alone, but only a few of you will truly be lonely, and even then, it won't be for long.
I then ask you if you need me anymore, if you need me to tell you that we're all there for you, no matter if that's a lie or not. No you respond, but I will be one less person fueling your addiction.
It feels nice to be a dealer.
It feels nice to be a dealer.