Harry Potter OC Reviews {open}

Micheal Roberts

  Anything in BOLD is my comment

Name: Michael Roberts - I really like this name. It's not too over complicated and just suggests that she is just your average girl.

 Gender: female

Ethnicity: American Blood - So did she move to England?

Status: half blood - That's good. Making your character a half blood is always a safe option.

House: Ravenclaw - Original

Wand: Cherry wood with dragon heartstrings core - Also original. Well done.

Age in book: 15 

Friends: Lucy Adams, Andrew Dillon (both OCs) - I can't really comment on this seeing as they're OC's

Era: Golden trio 

Relations: Arianna Roberts (mother), Eric Roberts (father), Reyna Roberts (Twin sister) 

Hair: Jet black hair in a pixie cut that's spiked up at the front. - I feel like I've said 'good, original' too many times, but I've gotta do it again!

Eyes: Hazel - Not so common to have hazel eyes, but if everything about her was common, she'd be boring, so well done.

Height: Average for her age - Also quite original!

Extra features: Wears braces, and has acne that is all across her forehead - YESSS! SOME ACTUAL FLAWS IN AN OC'S LOOK. I highly congratulate you for doing that.

Love interest: Lillian Ace - Again, can't really say anything as they're an OC

Backstory: Michael had a pretty normal childhood, and grew up to be very close to her twin sister. They both knew that their mother was a witch, and both hoped that they would one day get their hogwarts letter. Well, that day came. Well, sort've. You see, only Michael got a letter. They all figured that because their father was a muggle, that it was passed on to just Her twin. Still, that did not stop them from being any less sad. While Michael was happy to go to hogwarts, she could not imagine it without her twin. So when the day came to Board the hogwarts express, the two sisters embraced and promised to send each other letters. On the train, Michael stared out the window, boredom overtaking her. Then, a boy and a girl, both arguing, stopped in front of the compartment she was in. They stopped arguing for a second, and the girl asked if they could sit with her. Happy to have a distraction, Michael immediately agreed. The boy and the girl introduced themselves, and soon a friendship was born. They were all sorted into Ravenclaw. And from then on, Michael enjoyed herself at hogwarts. - I really like this. It's intriguing, pretty short and snappy and sounds like a really well thought out story. I think I'll read it! 

 Anything else: nothing else. - cool

Overall, I think Micheal is a very balanced character. Your plot sounds really cool and I think it'll go far. You must have spent ages on trying to perfect her as in general, I can't see any problems with her, major or minor. She has flaws with her looks, but she also has some nice features as well. Not many writers can make characters as good as this!

Mary Sue rating- 0% Mary Sue. Well done!

Grade- A+

A/N I'm gonna put this in all of the chapters, but I am currently taking members for my brand new book club. If you want to get your book recognised with some votes and constructive comments, go ahead and find the 'fanfiction book club' on my profile page and read the rules! Thanks!