Straining

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This is only my history


Only I cannot stop making it

Magical Monday begins to repeat

Only stars in my eyes too dry to weep

Rightfully rotten to the core

Ready to plant the next seed

Only to sprout the next dream

Wowsers it is happening again

Haven gotten tired of waiting

Unreal lazing sent her mother to speak to me  

Now I am so happy for reasons that continually bleed

I may be gone the very next day but that is because

This just couldn't wait and my own family still sought to destroy me

And hello grandma this is where it begins and also where it ends

Killing the unknowing secrets

Every time a new week takes my life for this

She wanted a girl so now she can keep the poisonous

His son you tried to kill still lives because you were too racist

Earth this is why we must only protect these secrets

It has nothing to do with the genome he changes

So you wouldn't ever realize the lies incorporated in your mind

Quell the questioning staying in disbelief that you lost me

Understand that this trust is kept by me yet I will remarry

Everything to start this over again in time

Stupid fucking time when we're always on the clock

Tick talk blown up, god damn it you're stupid luck 

I will draw the next straw that comes in need

Only because I'm too dead to be freed

Now that it has occurred to me what you're doing

It was in my mind one for all until you took my heart and pinned my soul

Now even though it wasn't you it still falls back to who started it all

Go on and permit these things that are to happen yet


I know it's all lies from this day forward and the truth is distorted

By so many witnesses seeing things different

Still I know the setup to kill me again

Don't slip slick Will eye continue standing

Only staying open for me knowing

Now that just because I'm a broken old man I can remain providing

This life to you and me even outside of your own hypocrisy  

Sweet wishing well dream to discontinue everything

This is who kept me loving

Only doing what she needed too

Please understand this is all I have in store for you

Making the best of what you needed to do

Everything takes time too

Properly recreate dreams

Of situationally disgraced

Ordered to dually partake

Pings in the pond

It is now only too far gone

Now that it is myself I live to drown

Girl help me up and hold me when I'm gone


For the boys are coming for me

Love it is going to hurt to do this again

Understand it is just the way it appears

Stoned in place working the rear

Hush now darling you're safe here

I said it and it will come true

Now either way you expect it too

Goodbye if you overstepped my bounds

At this time I am unsure of these clowns

Love it's alright because I won't frown

Looking on only confused as I thin and freeze

Terribly unfit for the lies you prove

Health now squandered because I just don't care

It is the situation that I was continually brought back to

Now you can offer me all that you want

GOD I'll still take it but send me the means

Stop trying to steal my money mom

Before I turn the tables to cause an accident

Every time I think of you

Forget get thinking that you're worth any proof

Only relying on this piss to keep drinking

Retribution and trusting my steed

Early warning signs tell me it will turn out the same

This is why I say no to begin at this time again

Help no I ain't asking for nor do I want anything

Every time you ask I'm just fucking writing

Well shit and I play guitars and sing to my heart's drumming 

Anxiety still keeps me from some things

Still I am waiting for another ring

Hell my ringer has been turned off and I am still straining

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