Draco Malfoy Imagines

Pansy-Who-Now?

Warning: Light cussing

[Most recent edits: 11 Mar., 2021]
///////////////
".. and that was the time I rejected two boys and once!" Porkinson bragged about her non-existent love life.

I was observing the 'happy' encounter in a corner of the Slytherin common room. No one seemed to notice me, and I could've care less.

"Yes, what a wonderful story Pansy." Malfoy said, turning slightly so she wouldn't see his eye roll.

"Oh have I ever told you about the night I- Drakie! Are you even listening?!" She was beginning to get on my nerves. I was so close to walking over there and stomping on her, but I restrained myself. But my poor ears don't deserve to be tortured by the sounds of what Porkinson called a scream.

"Oh yes - I am. I was just looking for... um... my.. uh..."

While he was struggling I made a list of things he did need to find.

His dignity.

His hair gel, cause geez, his hair was showing signs of 'this girl's driving me insane"

What else? Oh yeah. His standards.

"Drakie! Draky-poo! Sweetie? My prince? The love of-" I couldn't stand it anymore.

"PORKINSON!" I slammed the palms of my hands on to the table, and both heads turn to me immediately.

"If you could ple- no I'm not going to ask, I demand you shut the fuck up!" She seemed to be taken back a bit, but she composed herself.

"How dare you speak to me like that? You're just a jealous bitch. Oh, and by the way my names is P-a-n-s-y. Pansy. Have you written that down yet? Okay, now let's move on to my last name, P-a-r-k-i-n-s-o-n. Parkinson!" She was clearly about to explode. Oh boy does she love to ramble on about the most random things...

I raised my eyebrow. "Pansy-who-now?" I asked.

Her frustration directed her straight out of the common room. Leaving her hysterically, confused, 'Drakie-poo' behind.

After making sure the coast was clear he walked over to the table I was sitting at.

"Nice job [Y/N]. That bitch was getting on my nerves." He said, trying to keep in a laugh.

"Don't you worry, it must be hard trying to carry out this plan, so helping a little is not a problem at all... Drakie-poo." I said mockingly.

"I never want to hear you mutter the words 'Drakie' or 'poo' again. Especially not together. Got that [Y/L/N]?" I rolled my eyes jokingly.

"Of course," I replied, jumping out of my seat, following this action in a curtsy, "Your highness."

"Haha," He said sarcastically.

"Well then, this is where I must part ways with you now," I gave a fake pout, "and just on time, your little P-a-n-s-y, Pansy, is back."

Before I turned towards the exit I caught a glimpse of fear wash over his expression, and as I walked I still felt his eyes burning into my back. As I closed the door behind me, a sharp, ear piercing screech could be heard - from none other than Porkinson herself.

I don't think Pansy is thaaat horrible, I just think she's reeeeally bad 99.98% of the time. 🙃

(11/3/2021) Years after writing this, I now see that this story makes zero sense 😃