A/N: WARNING: This song is extremely graphic and may be too disturbing for some. It is from a concept album called “Dear Rudiff,” about a sociopathic Iraqi war veteran who is writing letters to an old friend from the battlefield. Read/listen to at your own risk.
Umm…
Dear Rudiff,
I’m a clown in town, not turning people’s heads
On the prowl, I’m weaving like a thread
About time that someone end up dead…
But instead, I keep my posture, keep my cool
Keeping it simple, keep it loose
Got my hands all in my pockets - my gesture for truce
Just like you taught me, I know how to blend in even though I do not fit in
It’s a costume - only pretend
In the end, it gets the job done
And these people think I’m one of them
They treat me like another splash of gray atop this palette of paint
Understand I do this ‘cause sometimes I feel trapped
Being alone under the city starts to make me retract my claws
So I gotta get out to keep them sharp and alert
It’s like flirting with the victim you about to make still and inert
And it’s worth it, you know?
Kind of gives me a purpose, you know?
If it was not for this monthly stroll, I’d start to feel a bit worthless, you know?
And I’d hurt myself - desert myself
Give birth to the extrovert that has been lurking and jerking these strings inside of my noggin
This world is drying up, with one possible outcome
- To put a hole inside my head
Forty seasons, going on more
Cannot remember the last time we spoke
I got urges for insurgence
And words stuck in the back of my throat
Choke ‘em down with a glass of mocha
Oh my god, it’s hard to stay low-profile
I think it’s time that we both try to meet up
Agree at a place I can see ya
I been writing, you been working?
I figured as much, since I haven’t got a letter back
My mom tried to say that you a “fair-weather friend”
But fuck that bitch, barely got it together, man
She wasn’t there!
We was out in the cold, in the trenches
You kept me alive
That’s real friendship!
All she ever did was eat up my pension
When I talk, bitch don’t even pay attention
But you do, that’s why I keep writing
Yesterday, I guess was alright
This nigga tried to drop me in the alley
That shit that you taught me has started to rake up a tally
I got a talent for blood, but remorse keeps nipping at my ear
Feeling bad for these faces
I hope the feds can’t trace this…
You’s the one who told me to embrace this!
I’ll be honest, I’m feeling alone
Like, gimme a sign, man
Throw me a bone or something
Every day is a struggle
That mirror you gave me is nothing but trouble
Another dime, another day
Back to back - a domino, I sway
I’m starting to mind, if I’m taking your time away
Just let me know and I’ll cut with the bullshit!
And if not, then I don’t mean to push
I know you a busy man, no need to rush
If I’m talking too much, I can shush
All these emotions - I’m tryna flush it out or crush it out
How long until a man fully drop down before he hit bottom?
- Before I hit bottom?
This world is drying up, with one possible outcome
- To put a hole inside my head
I think I’ve had enough, and I’m ready for no more
Let’s put a hole inside this head
I was feeling good in the moment
Thought if I owned up to it, I’d show my true colors
Just tryna be honest
I’m like a comet, leaving a trail of blood behind me
Hey Rudiff, do you remember that time we picked up that slut on the side of the road?
And she tried to do us both, but you wasn’t having that - no
You wrapped some barbed wire ‘round her throat and you pulled it, and she couldn’t scream
She was choking
That was the first time I saw someone croaking
Back then, I was real soft-spoken
I guess I’ve changed a lot, and the doctor says not to strain, but ah!
I’m in pain!
I’m not going back to that place!
She can’t fucking help me, she just keeps on playing it safe!
Cause she’s afraid to dig down deep where my real issues sleep
Down with the shit and the sulfur and tar
Down where my real demons are
She just pumps me full of meds and hopes that I’ll be docile ‘til I’m dead
Hope’s I’ll feel awesome ‘til I’m obviously so fucked up I can’t possibly hurt one no more!
Well, she was wrong Rudiff…
This world is drying up, with one possible outcome
- To put a hole inside my head
I think I’ve had enough, and I’m ready for no more
Let’s put a hole inside this head
- Tru
VOUS LISEZ
Lyric Book
PoésieThis is just a collection of songs that I enjoy. My musical taste is broad, so you may find something that you like. Disclaimer: I do not own nor take credit for any of the songs within this book. All lyrics are credited to their rightful owners.
