Baby It's You

Chapter 30

|Destiny|

"Hey." I awkwardly said as I sat down at the restaurant table across from Steven.

This is so fucking awkward already and I just sat down.

"Hey." Steven awkwardly smiled at me.

"Before I say anything, I want you to know that I'm really sorry about everything." I placed my hands on my lap, not knowing where to place them.

My anxiety is through the roof right now and my heart feels like it's going to beat out of my chest.

"Alright." Steven said folding his hands on the table in front of him.

"I had a modeling gig in Italy so Derek came out along with my friend Sage and my cousin Isabelle. Long story short, I came back to our hotel room and found Derek and Isabelle laying in our bed together and I flipped out and  came back to LA." I spoke and he looked confused as to what the hell I was talking about.

"It's part of this whole thing so just keep up." I said.

"When I came back to LA, I cut Derek and everyone off except my cousin Nate and of course my friends that I was living with. I was heartbroken because of what Derek did to me and I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to hurt someone like he hurt me." I sighed at how pathetic I sounded.

"So you wanted to hurt me?" Steven spoke sadly.

"Yeah I did. I thought that it would make me feel better but it didn't. It made me feel like shit and when we were at Nate's house and I left it's because I was in the bathroom crying about how shitty I felt. I realized that I needed to end my plan and that was to get you to leave. I didn't wanna hurt you because I know how bad that hurts and I couldn't do it, I'm not a mean girl." I looked down at my lap so I didn't have to look at Steven.

"Did you ever have feelings for me? Cause when we talked privately at Nate's you said you weren't feeling me anymore but with this story is seems like you never did." Steven now sounded angry but still hurt.

"I didn't. I kept bringing you around because like I said, I wanted to hurt you. I wanted to make you like me or even love me and then I planned on never talking to you again because I thought it would make me feel better. Plus, it was making Derek jealous and I found that as a bonus." I found the courage to look up at Steven. Only because I wanted to see his expression.

"Well, you did hurt me. How does that make you feel? Does it make you feel good? Are you proud of yourself now?" Steven stood up from the table so I quickly stood up to sit him down so we could finish the conversation.

"I feel horrible." I sat Steven back down and made sure he was gonna stay. I didn't wanna leave without some understanding.

"Have you ever dealt with a heartbreak?" I asked.

"Yeah, once." Steven spoke.

"What happened?" I was trying to make a point right now so hopefully this plan works.

"She didn't trust me. She had issues with a past boyfriend so she had trust issues. I wasn't doing anything behind her back but with the way she thinks, she always thought I was which caused us to argue all the time. At the beginning, I accepted it and wanted to fix her but as time went on, I couldn't handle it anymore. I felt like every time I wanted to go out somewhere without her, she would think I'm doing something behind her back. I felt like I couldn't live my life anymore. I was tired of arguing every day with her so we decided to stop talking." Steven said.

"When you go through heartbreak, you do stupid things and you feel angry at the world. You do things out of sadness, like me. I was angry at the world Steven. I want you to know that I'm not that girl and I'm so sorry." I wiped a tear falling from my eye.