Her and Her

Chapter 1: Pilot

"ARIAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

I jumped up from my deep sleep  to see my mum at the edge of my bed, wearing very red lipstick and also a very terrifying frown. She was clearly shooting daggers at me because her eyes said it all. Even with one eye open and very blurry vision, I could tell how much I have pissed her off. I scrambled for my glasses and put them on. Ah, finally clear vision.

"Jeez mom. Save your voice. Don't you have a big presentation today?"

"Very funny Aria. It's 7 am. You are going to be late for school. It's the last semester. Now hurry up." She threw me my bath robe and sauntered out the door.

I sat up on bed, contemplating on whether I should just ditch school for the day and sleep for another 12 hours. I didn't feel like dressing up, or socializing, or learning new things. All I wanted to do was run away from my problems. I felt so conflicted and so on edge all the time. And I didn't know why. I mean, I have the best life. Anyone would kill to be in my position. I had the most loving parents. And the only time mom ever gets mad is when I don't wake up on time. Dad, on the other hand, treats me like a princess. He always bought me whatever I asked without looking at the cost. I have a whole collection of Kylie Cosmetics Matt liquid lipsticks thanks to my dad's credit card. I had the best friends in the whole world. Jess, Tyler and Jordan. They'd do anything for me. There was nothing to worry about when it came to my grades. I wasn't the top in class or anything but I had okay enough grades. And, I should really be the happiest person now because it was the last semester of school. I couldn't wait for school to end so that I could finally pursue my dreams of becoming  a fashion designer. I'm so close to finally going to  design school and making my dream come true.

But, ever since my senior year in high school, things started getting more complicated. Everyone around me was getting into a relationship. Not that that bothered me. I've always been very independent and felt complete without a man. In fact, I hated romantic movies and all that sappy stuff. They made me cringe so much. What bothered me was my nonchalance towards boys. I was never attracted to the opposite sex. And Coral Edge High school was what Jess referred  to as an institution with "raining dick." We had so many attractive boys at our school that literally everyone has slept with each other. It does gross me out. A lot. All my female friends talk about boys and who they've been shagging, and usually I just sit around and pretend to listen when in actual fact I don't care.

But as time passed, my fears grew bigger and bigger. And there was always this question at the back of my mind that haunted me, "What if i'm gay?"

I've never been in love with a girl before, but,  when I see a beautiful girl, my stare lingers longer than it should. Does this mean i'm not straight?

I fell back onto bed and groaned into my pillow. I didn't want to deal with any of this. I pushed my lousy thoughts to the back of my mind and hopped into the shower.

After the best shower in the world, I was all set for doing my makeup. I turned on my spotify and blasted out my favourite, Drake. His new album, Views, gave me life. It was my jam every morning. The best part about getting ready was doing my makeup. There was something so therapeutic about applying makeup.  My usual makeup routine started with my primer, followed by my favourite foundation. I swear by my TooFaced products. After applying my concealer, drawing my usual cat eye, and setting my makeup, I rummaged through my vanity drawer to find the perfect shade of lipstick. I finally settled for a deep beige nude colour. I didn't have to do much with my hair since I've recently cut it into a stylish medium length  bob. I was kind of digging the new look.  After a last look in the mirror, I grabbed my bag and keys and headed out the door. I was expecting it to be an uneventful day. Little did I know, my first last day at school was going to change my life.

 I stood outside my house and sighed heavily  when  Tyler's range rover was no where to be seen. He's been me and Jess's ride for a year now. Ever since he got his license, our lives became so much more interesting. I was about to ring Tyler when I heard someone honking. I looked up, relived to see Tyler's car and also knowing that I won't be late for the first day of school.

"I was about kick your ass for being almost late," I shot Tyler my scariest glare as I got into the car.

"Good morning to you too sweetheart." Tyler winked at me. He was ridiculously handsome and his smile melted every girl's heart in school. None of them knew that he was very much in love with his long-term boyfriend, Kyle, who he met in Spain 2 years ago. I honestly don't know how they've managed to long distance and still be crazy about each other for that long. Love must really work in mysterious ways. 

"You look so gorgeous today! Oh darling, if only we could find you a bae." Tyler squealed.

"Thanks love. And God no, i'm happy the way I am. I have a newfound appreciation for the single life."

"That is bullshit. Jess and I are so finding you a date soon. Let's make you a Tinder profile."

My eyes widened in horror.

"Oh hell to the no. Tinder is filled with creeps and I like to keep my legs closed."

Jess jumped in and I could tell that she was practically beaming with excitement.

"Please talk to Aria about her non-existent love life," Tyler shot her a knowing look.

Jess sighed and turned to me, "you know we love you Aria, but Tyler and I need to talk to you about something."

I could feel a lump forming up in my throat. Did they know? Did they know that I might be gay? 

"W-what?" I choked out.

"Well...." Tyler dragged, "we kind of know why you never talk about guys or anything. And we want to let you know that we are fine with whatever you are. I mean, all that matters to us is your happiness." He finished carefully.

"What are you guys getting at?" I didn't even dare too look up. I could feel Jess's stare on me.

In that moment, there was a silence. A very long, awkward and painful silence. They knew how closed off I was when it came to the topic about love. But, in that very moment, I knew what they knew. Why was this so hard for me? I knew how much they loved me. I knew they would understand. I mean, Tyler is gay. And Jess was the least judgmental person I know. They would still love me. Jeez, what was the matter with me? Why can't I just tell them them that I'm gay? Oh. My. God. Did I just admit to myself that I'm gay? This is killing me. I mean, I've never been with a girl before, so I can't determine that for sure. Right?

 No. This is not right. I can't hide this from my best friends anymore

My thoughts were interrupted when I felt Jesse's hands on my shoulders. " Honey, let's talk about this over coffee after school. We can go to Starbucks. Your fav! It will be fun!" Jesse grinned. 

" Sounds cool. I love you guys so much. I'm so sorry that I've been so closed off about this." I could feel my eyes well up.

" Hey, we love you so much alright? We're here for you always," Tyler grabbed my hand. 

Things were already looking up for me. I was ready to take on the rest of the day

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