GalaxyBillies

Chapter 22

Chapter 22

In the vastness of space, it is easy to miss the passage of even the largest of ships in a busy space way. If the vehicle happens to be a lone, small probe in a rarely travelled solar system, discovery is almost impossible.

Factor in a total lack of advanced tracking equipment and it is no wonder that such a device could pass completely undetected.

The probe, a small grey metallic sphere, makes a single pass through the solar system, scanning all planets as it does so. A loop around the system’s yellow primary star and it climbs out of the sun’s gravity well toward the third planet. The planet is a small blue orb and home to a relatively unknown species that calls itself humanity.

The probe plunges into the planet’s atmosphere blazing a trail of flame across the sky. It smashes into a white plain sending a plume of snow and ice into the air. Several minutes pass before the probe, looking like a floating metal jellyfish, rises from the crater. It hovers in place for more than an hour drinking in solar radiation and monitoring the wealth of communication that envelopes this small world.

Initial monitoring complete, the alien device begins its search for physical evidence of the planet’s inhabitants. Unbeknownst to the denizens of this planet, should it be successful and report back to its masters, all human life may be doomed.

***

There is a saying in the galaxy that is very familiar to most Earthlings. It goes something like this: “Into every life a little rain must fall”.

Scholars are unclear why every single civilization seems to have a version of this saying. Philosophers, on the other hand, say it is a key part in the evolution of any species. They say that at a certain point every civilization becomes more introspective and starts to see some of the truths in life⁠* (*Mind you, when it comes right down to it, truth is completely a matter of perspective and who is in charge. Those beings tend to be the ones who decide who has life as well).

This is the point where philosophers begin to disagree. Some, like the Temple of Infinite Love, believed that the rain symbolizes tears, and from tears, feelings of love grow. Others, like the Warlords of Krang, insisted that the rain is a metaphor for the bombardment and eventual annihilation of anyone who dares to oppose them.

These opposing factions argued about the topic for several centuries with observers predicting the eventual, and final victory by the Warlords when they destroyed the Temple of Infinite Love by orbital bombardment. No one could predict that the Temple would win one day when a novitiate by the name of Sunshine Gigglefratz contaminated the Warlords’ water supply. The contaminant, an elixir developed by the Temple’s top yogis, was meant to supplant the Warlord’s aggressive natures with more peaceful loving temperaments.

Unfortunately, the aggression inherent in the Warlords was also physiologically necessary to their survival. The net result was the death of every Warlord of Krang everywhere.

Not surprisingly, many worlds breathed a collective sigh of relief at the passing of the Warlords of  Krang. Unfortunately, as is so often the case, the removal of one aggressive species upset the balance of power. What surprised many was that the Temple of Infinite Love led by the previously mentioned Sunshine Gigglefratz stepped in to fill the void.

Sunshine reasoned that the more tears shed, the more love in the galaxy. And so he led the Temple and its adherents in one of the bloodiest wars the galaxy had ever seen. The net result was more tears, less citizens and a decided lack of love as the Temple was finally defeated and faded into history.

Still, it’s a good saying and one the planet Earth is about to experience first hand as the Galactic Council prepares its fleet for war. Don’t you just feel the love already?

***

 “It appears we have been successful in eluding the pursuing military flotilla,” Grokmar said. The announcement came as the humans and Sheanna’Ree were sitting down to a real meal in the galley.

Betty Sue glared at the nearest, most obvious sensor. “Sandbar, what did I tell you about highfaluting language? Can you tell us in simple english please?”

“I am not sure I can make it simple enough for you, Betty Sue, but I will try,” Grokmar said.

Betty Sue stood tapping her foot. “Well?”

“We…got…away….” the ship replied.

“See! Was that so hard?” Betty Sue asked. She ignored the grumbling of the ship.

<Ship grumbling> “Stupid humans! Cannot understand the simplest of sentences in their own language. It is amazing to me that they ever evolved.”

“Now, Missy,” Betty Sue said, looking at Sheanna’Ree. “I still don’t know what you think we can do to protect you from these bad fellas you was talking about.”

The alien woman stopped eating her salad to reply. “As I told you before, you have all shown an impressive ability to handle problems. The Predator Zeke killed is a perfect example of what I’m talking about.”

“Ah wuz only protectin’ Betty Sue and the others,” Zeke said. “Ah couldn’t let it hurt any a them.”

Sheanna’Ree smiled. “My point exactly. If you are protecting me, you will do whatever is necessary to keep me safe too.”

Betty Sue’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t think I like where this is going. We’re not about to be your killers or nothing. We’re simple folk.”

“I would rather no one gets hurt too,” Sheanna’Ree said. “That’s the second reason I want your help. You showed how clever you can be when you escaped from the Station Security Jail on Sin Station.”

“HA! Clever….” the Grokmar said.

“I don’t rightly know if it was clever or not,” Betty Sue said. “From what I’ve heard we was almost medical experiments.”

“Almost, maybe, but you did escape,” Sheanna’Ree said. “And don’t forget, if you help me, I’ll get my father to stop the alien fleet that is gathering to destroy your home planet.”

“Yes, let’s talk about that for a second,” Betty Sue said. “You keep saying how important and powerful you father is. If he’s so great why can’t he protect you?”

“Like I told you before, if he gets involved, a lot of people will get hurt.”

“That don’t make no sense,” Carol Anne said.

“It does if you knew the business my father is in,” the alien woman said.

“I’m glad you brung that up. Just what business is your father in?” Betty Sue asked.

Sheanna’Ree shrugged and tried to look nonchalant. “Oh lots of things. Shipping, distribution, sales.”

“Ohhh. Ya mean like a shopkeeper?” Zeke asked.

“Ummm, sure. Like a shopkeeper except for the entire galaxy,” Sheanna’Ree said.

“So why are these nasty fellas after you again?” Betty Sue said.

“My father is about to be promoted to run The Corporation. The men who are chasing me work for someone else who wants the promotion instead. If they catch me, my father will step aside and refuse the promotion.”

“That’s too bad for your Pa, but it doesn’t sound so bad,” Carol Anne said.

Sheanna’Ree whirled to face the girl with a snarl. “You don’t know what you’re talking about! If that happens they’ll kill my father and a lot of other people too.” She took a deep breath. “Besides, if my father doesn’t speak up for your planet, everyone living there will die, including your families.”

“All right, already. Don’t get your panties in a twist.” Betty Sue said. “But we have to talk about this before we decide. Why don’t you go to your cabin and get some rest. We’ll let you know.”

Sheanna’Ree bowed her head with a smile and left the galley for the crew quarters.