And now Harry... That was a move he made back there. He was trying to kiss me. Me pushing him away was nothing against him, it was just that I'd just gotten out of a serious relationship, I was upset and confused, and I just wasn't ready for that. Maybe in time, I would be, but not now.
Harry said in the hospital that he had his eyes on somebody else. Was that somebody else me? It seemed like it. I sighed heavily and sniffed a bit, just now realizing I was in tears, blinking them away and shoving my hands deeper into my pockets. This was so confusing. I thought Liam was the one for me, but... Maybe not. Maybe Harry was the one for me.
One of them was lying to me. I didn't know who it was, but it was one of them. Harry told me what he saw and what Liam said, but Liam said that none of it was true. One of them was lying, but who? Who was lying to me? I didn't know who I wanted it to be. Right now, as upset as I was with Liam, I sort of wanted it to be him. I wanted Harry to be telling me the truth, but with the fact that I loved Liam and I'd been about to marry him, at the same time, it wanted it to be Harry that was lying. Though, ultimately, I didn't want either of them to lie to me, but one of them was and I had no idea who.
-- Liam's Point of View --
"Please, call me."
I hung up the phone with simply that, ending the voicemail to Niall. I caught a glance out the window and recognized who was on the other side of the glass. Quickly I rushed to the door and opened it, waving to get his attention, calling his name. He noticed after a few seconds, but only gave me a slight half-smile, continuing to walk.
"Niall! I want to talk to you!"
He sighed and came over to the front step. "Look, now's not really the time-"
"Please, just let me to talk to you."
He nodded gently. "Go ahead."
"It's not even been that long but I need to get this off my chest. I need you. I miss our late-night conversations and the crazy games we made up. I miss waking up and getting to see you every morning, laying beside me, where you're finally at peace. And don't tell me I'm wrong because I know that life is fucked up and I know for a fact that you're not okay in any way possible. I know you better than anyone else and trust me, I pay attention to the little things. I miss having you around. I need you. I feel so small and insignificant. I don't... I feel worthless, and I feel so small. I don't want to give up on you. On us. I won't." I paused for a long time and took a deep, shaky breath. "I miss being a part of your life, and I feel empty, because now the one thing - or person, rather - that was keeping me alive isn't a part of mine anymore."
He fell silent and his gaze dropped to the ground. We stood like this for a few minutes before I, frustrated and almost sobbing, yelled, "Niall, please, say something!"
"I'm sorry." He sighed. "Look, I'm sorry. You have no idea how bad I feel. But... I'm just not sure I'm ready for that again."
I gave him a look. "Will you ever be?"
"Maybe, maybe not."
I took both his hands and made eye contact with him finally. Ah, those eyes. "Then I'll wait. I'll wait for as long as it takes to get you back. Life sucks without you around, and I don't know how much more I can take." I broke the eye contact and let go of his hands, now realizing that I was in tears, and I wiped them away. "I don't know how much more I can take." I repeated, voice cracking halfway through. I looked out the open door as thunder boomed in the sky and the clouds turned grey. Fast, it started raining.
"Dammit..." Niall cursed under his breath. "Can I... Stay until it stops raining?" I could tell from his voice that he was stuck. I knew he didn't want to stay with me, but I knew he didn't want to go out in the pouring rain either.
"I have an umbrella if you want." I offered, but he refused.
"No, it's okay."
"Niall, just... Take the umbrella. You and I both know you don't want to be here."
He pulled his hood down and closed the door behind him, giving me a slight half-smile. "But I kinda do. Just because of what's been happening... And just because it seems like I don't... I truly do miss talking to you on rainy days like this. Just talking about whatever pops into our minds. Yeah, I miss our deep conversations."
I nodded gently. "Okay..."
We sat on the couch and begun talking as like we usually did. It was like nothing changed. Except that we didn't give eachother a peck on the lips every few minutes, and we weren't holding hands or cuddling together. Suddenly, we both just stopped talking, and we sat in silence. Niall bit his lower lip as he stared at me. There was absolutely nothing except the tension between us floating around in the air. I could feel his breath on me, that's how close he was. It was only weird this time around because I hadn't felt it in so long. Our breath mixed and he smiled. I exchanged the gesture and within a few seconds, he grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and pressed his lips to mine.
Fast, things accelerated. Soon enough, Niall was on top of me, and he was pulling my shirt off. My mind was a blank slate. I let it happen. Maybe I shouldn't of. But I did. It was like nothing changed. We still shared the same glances we did while we were in love. It was like we were falling in love all over again. But maybe I was too gullible. At this moment it felt as though Niall did maybe still have feelings for me. But maybe... Maybe it was too good to be true.
I shouldn't of.
Chapter Twenty-Two -- Making a Move
Start from the beginning
