My Bully got Me PREGNANT

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I wish I could tell you this to your face but how could I? I freeze up whenever you come near me. The fear of what you will do to me paralyze me .

When you stand in front of me , my mind keep screaming but nothing come out of my lips. So I will write what I couldn't voice on this piece of paper.

I will crunch it and shred it to pieces pretending it is you i am straggling the life out of. Am

Last week when the volleyball team won against I went to my first party.

I put on some makeup and decided to overcome the fear that if go to a party the bullies are going to kill me and bury me in the basement .

They spiked the drink at the party and I didn't know better since it was my first party.  .

We were both stoned when we had sex, it was my first time but of course you wouldn't know that because you don't even remember sleeping with me at the party.

Monday at school you continued with your daily dose of bullying, you called me names and make the other kids laugh at me. You are the bad boy of the school and you are narcissistic .

Though you never hurt me physically the other kids do it to suck up to you and to look cool in your eyes.

I don't even understand why people bully me just because I am mute or so they think and I don't have any friends  .

When I started school here  I didn't make any friends because I didn't know how to speak Afrikaans. After i learn people were used to me not speaking so no body want to be the friend of the mute.

I came to Walvisbay ten years ago after my mother died .I moved so I can stay with my uncle.

He was never on good terms with my Mother so  all he does is fulfil his legal responsibility towards me and that's it.

My uncle is never home and when he is ,  he is either drunk or he have more important things to deal with than spend time with his niece.

It gets very lonely in the house. books and television are the only company I have. I have read so many books and watched movies.

When I am alone at least there is no one to order me and bully me.

My uncle is a slave driver, he make me do everything for him not that  I mind. I love him , he is the only family I have but the same cannot be said for him.

after I arrived home safely, I went to my room and have a warm shower to sooth my aching bruises and muscle from all the shoving, punching and tripping that I got from your friends.

I still remember you from the time we use to attend the same primary school before you moved in fourth grade. Sometimes I wonder if you don't remember me or you just don't care .