Perspectives Or Truth

(I)

Dearest Mohit,

By the time, you receive this letter, I'll probably be gone. I've already submitted my resignation letter to the board of directors, gone through all the termination formalities and I'm almost free. Yes, ALMOST.

I did think of meeting you in person & just sit and perhaps, talk for the very last time but then I know that I'll not be able to say everything that I need to without getting all emotional and now, very frankly speaking, I don't even consider you worthy of my tears.

I totally understand when your Nani or Di, doesn't approve of me because of my appearance or my reluctance in attending poojas or my lack of cooking skills or even my career driven attitude. They never intended to know the real me amidst all these appearances. But, even after knowing me for almost 12 years & staying in a live-in relationship for the last 5 years, you never bothered to correct them or tried to make them understand me. Perhaps, you, yourself, never accept me.

I was a lively & carefree person too. I have many dreams & hopes for my future & my wedding as well. I too come from a family which holds traditional values like yours. Just because I didn't show my weaknesses & wanted to have a high educational qualification & a proper career - doesn't make me unworthy of your love. It simply doesn't mean that I don't want anybody in my life, who would love me, cherish me, or be protective & caring towards me. I wanted all these in the love of my life!

I went against everybody & started staying in a live-in relationship with you, because I love you. Well, I did.

I took the chances, hoping that you too will someday think of a future with me. All because, I thought I saw 'L-O-V-E' in those dreamy orbs of yours. The same ones which led to my downfall. Was I wrong to have hopes about our future? Or just like our professional lives, I should've taken a written confirmation from your end before having hopes.

For you, I tried to change myself. Nobody forced me. I did everything because my heart wanted me to! And look, how I ended up!

I tried to be traditional to be accepted by your family. I learned to cook, to fit into your family. You considered me your best friend, all your college life and then, we got into a relationship. I stood strong with you, when you suffered from loneliness after loosing your parents young & never wanted to make friends. I supported you when you wanted to start your business. I became your business advisory, your counsel. I moved in with you when you slipped into depression & turned alcoholic. I was glad to finally see you out of depression & when you stopped drinking. I was glad to see you taking control of your own life. I was glad witnessing them all & even more glad to see you wanting to share your happiness with me. I didn't do you any favour. I did everything because I loved you and I still do but as you know, feelings can't be forced.

But now, I've come to realize the fact that it wasn't your true happiness. Then she entered your life --- Your true happiness. You connected with her immediately. She is everything your family wanted. You say, you get a reflection of your mother in her. You felt, just like you, she also had a traumatic childhood, so she could understand you better.

Her hazel eyes and her innocence attracted you & it didn't take much time to forget me. You felt, a girl like me, who came from a normal family , will not be able to connect with you on an emotional level. Did that thought never cross your mind in all these 12 years? I was always the same girl, who supported you; no matter what your past was. But you on the other hand, never appreciated or acknowledged all the little efforts I put in for you. Perhaps, my existence faded in her presence. The way you're changing for her --- it's visible to everybody.

But terming your change for your happiness as love & my change for you as manipulative & show-off --- is it justified?

Why is it? when you hurt any guy, just because, he is friendly to your happiness - you justify it by saying, it's your love & possessiveness & if I try to harm her, when I can clearly see you getting away from me, I'm termed as B***h. Does that mean that my feelings cannot be termed as love or possessiveness, because it is inconvenient for you?

Have you not realised how much of a hypocrite you are?! Or even how pathetic you make me sound?!

You needed somebody when you hit the lowest time in your life --- I was there. You also needed an alternative, & she should have a class, so that your family can stop pestering you for your marriage. You needed somebody, for successfully running your business too. I was the best available candidate. I am lucky, in all these years, we never shared something beyond kisses because if something like that happened, I'm not sure, whether I would have ever been able to gather myself. Yes, I can't blame you, because I got into this mess knowing it all. But, still it hurts!

I can't do this anymore! I wish you all the happiness in the world. I want you to be happy. Since, you found your happiness and now, that all is said and done, Marriage is on the cards. All the best!

Wish you a happy life with your happiness ahead . But, I don't think I want to be a part of it. Goodbye Mohit. Forever.

Someone you left behind,
Sneha.

* Story cover & chapter edited by Imposter_xxx

** This story was previously published  (a few years ago) as an Arshi fanfiction on Indiaforums from the profile tuli_jayee. I have edited and published it here. It is no more a fanfiction.