First Date

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“Puddin!” Harley called out for the clown prince “Puddin where ya at?”

The Joker was sitting in his office staring at a map of Gotham. Smiley faces, frowned faces, and batman symbols were sprawled out all over it. Places he wanted to destroy, destroy more, and destroy twice. He heard his queen’s heals clicking as she got closer to the door. She barged in causing a slight growl to escape his lips.

“I’m busy Harley” he snapped at her.

“I know Puddin but this ya gotta see this!” Harley held up a phone to the Jokers face. He stared at it blankly then confused. There was a text that read ‘Grant Park’.

“I told you I’m busy” he was beginning to get annoyed “Why should I care about Grant Park?”

“Becaaaaaaaaause ya goof our little princess just asked for permission to go out tonight and I swiped her phone because she wouldn’t tell me where!” Harley stood wide eyed in front of him waiting for a reaction.

“Harls I love that you're a whack job but I don’t have time for crazy right now I’m looking for a man dressed as a bat” he cackled at her and sat down at his seat “besides she goes out every night".

“UH YA but tonight it’s with a boy ya looney tune” Harley could barely finish her sentence and a flash of green hair went past her eyes, her puddin disappeared from the room and Harley giggled to herself.

You stood in front of your mirror finishing touching up your look. You remembered watching your mother get ready to go out with your father and dreamed of when you could do the same. Tonight was finally the night you had the chance.  Black dress, black lashes, red lips, ready to go out. You knew it was safer to ask your mother to let your father know it was with a boy, maybe if he saw you all dolled up you could sweet talk him like you usually could to get what you want. You grabbed your purse to leave your room and when you turned the clown prince of crime was in the doorway.

“Oh… Hi daddy!” you smiled at him as innocently as possible

“Oh hi daddy!” he mocked you “Don’t daddy me what do you think you're doing?” he walked toward you.

“Going out".

He scoffed and started to circle you. “Going out. Just going out? all dolled up so beautiful for a guy who isn’t me and you call that just going out?” He stopped and lowered his head down to look you in the eye.

“Yes daddy but he’s really sweet but not as sweet as you of course and I really want to see him and think of it this way the more time I spend with him the more time I’m away from you and missing you so I’ll love you extra when I get home! Plus I need more freedom!” you said neurotically not knowing what was going through your fathers head. When he stared at you stunned you kissed his cheek and decided to attempt to speed walk to the door. By your surprise he didn’t stop you until you reached the hallway.

“All right princess" he said calmly. Too calm.

You turned around and saw him smiling a smile only you ever saw, it was tender and reassuring. “wh.. what? All right? You mean I can go?”

“Of course! I want my princess to have everything she wants, you deserve it sweetheart" he met you in the hall and returned the kiss to your forehead. 

You gave him a goofy, surprised face that made him chuckle. “Well. uh. yeah. uh. I mean.. yes YES I do deserve it! Thank you daddy” You slid away from him and made your way to the front door. Either your father was growing soft in old age or getting crazier, whatever it was you liked it.

Joker walked back to his office to find Harley spinning in his chair. 

“So puddin what are the three of us doin tonight? Heist? Bingo? Bird huntin?” Joker put a hand on the chair to stop her from moving and pulled a knife out of his jacket. He twirled it over the map. “Just the two of us tonight darling” he said.

“YOU LET HER GO OUT??” She jumped up pink and blue curls bouncing with her.

“Yes but I think we’ll make it a double date” He slammed his knife into the map. ‘Grant Park’ was now a torn slice on the table. He sat down at and covered his mouth with his hand and laughed that maniacal laughter that made Harley’s heart flutter.

When you got to the park you let out a huge sigh, it was finally happening, you waited for your date to arrive an stared up at the stars. You closed your eyes and breathed in the air. Suddenly you felt hands around your waist and you let out a small yelp.

“Woah woah sorry beautiful I didn’t meant to scare you” your date blushed at startling you and grabbed your hand. 

“It’s okay I just got a little lost in the moment” you intertwined your fingers in his and smiled at him.

“Well I hope there will be a lot of that tonight” he led you through the park. The two of you flirted and laughed together strolling through the grass. He kept trying to move his hand to your back, your waist, but you shrugged it off and took it in yours again. He led you to a bench after a while to sit down. 

You were nervous for the first time during the date. It was your first, before then only dreaming of what it’d be like to have something like your parents had. The King and Queen of gotham type of romance. Your father used to tell you when you were little that you didn’t need a prince, but it didn’t stop you from wanting one. It didn’t make this moment any less nerve racking for you though.

I'm glad you met me tonight" he leaned into you and whispered in your ear. He started teasing your neck with his lips. 

“I’m glad I did too” you closed your eyes enjoying the moment. You loved the confidence you felt. Until you felt his hand caress your stockings. Your eyes shot open and you looked down to see his hand moving up. Immediately you grabbed it and stopped him. I'm not that glad I came out tonight".

“Come on beautiful, a pretty girl and a guy in the park at night, you know what that means" he smirked and you furrowed your brow at him. “What, is my smile scaring you baby?”

“AH-AH-AH-AH” the laugh sounded a bit too much like your fathers, “listen dude, I’ve seen scary smiles and you don’t come close” You stood up and began walking away reaching in your purse to call your parents to get you. You stopped suddenly when you felt a void in your purse. Turning around to look at your not so prince like date, all you could get out was “uh oh”. 

“UH OH IS RIGHT” The purple lamborghini screeched through the grass and within seconds your father was out of the car and had the boy by the neck. “Are you enjoying yourself” the words slithered out of his mouth and the boy began to cry. “I SAID ARE YOU ENJOYING YOURSELF” he screamed at the boy who shook his head no. “NO? WHAT DO YOU MEAN DO? You mean you’re not enjoying yourself with the prettiest girl in the whole world?” The boy then shook his head and whimpered yes through his tears “YES? So you are enjoying touching my girl are ya?” 

“Please mr uh mr joker guy I wasn’t gonna do anythi- AHH” he dropped to the ground and your mother stood over him with her bat.

“HARLEY! I was talkin to that thing”

“And it was borin let’s just beat the creep!” the queen of gotham began to break the boys legs one by one and your father ticked his head to the side in admiration before turning to look at you. You ran into the arms he opened up.

“Oh daddy I’m so happy to see you guys!” he pulled you into him and stroked your hair. “He wasn’t my prince at all he turned out to be a jerk".

“Tsk tsk tsk what have I told you. I’ll be your prince charming okay? Look princess I road my white horse to rescue you” he pointed at the lambo. “and a valiant knight to kill the monster’ he pointed at your mother. Your father covered you in kisses, it was a tender scene paralleled with the calming shrieks of your date. “But maybe you're right princess, you do need more freedom".

“What does that mean?” He picked your head up to look at him pulling his gun out of his holster. 

“Aw daddy do you really mean it?!” he curled his lips into his mouth and shook his head up and down like a little school boy at you. You grabbed the pistol out of him hand. He grabbed you by the arm and gave you a stern warning. 

“That’s daddy’s favorite and it’s just for you so be careful.”

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