Come to Me, Angel of Music

Prolouge

What is a best friend to you?

Define a best friend.

You could say your best friend is someone who looks out for you. Someone who you can laugh with and someone you can cry with. Someone who's that 1a.m phone call or that Friday night get away. Someone who's a shoulder to cry on. Someone who will laugh at your stupid jokes like it was the funniest thing in the world. Someone who will be there for you until the very end.

I had a best friend.

Key word:had.

We met when we were just kids. I was four and she was three. I remember seeing her at the skating rink for the first time and there she caught my eye. She was the first girl to beat the boys in who could skate the fastest around the rink. I remember how flawlessly she could land a waltz jump and even though it's the easiest jump in the world, it was the hardest for us to land at the time. She never seizes to amaze me. She was everything I aspired to be in a skater and I guess I somehow did her justice by being the skater she always wanted to be.

Life is a crazy thing. You think you have your whole life planned out. You try to live in the moment but can't help but plan your future. Your career choice, the house you want, the kids you want, the perfect partner. But sometimes you need to appreciate the moment, sometimes you need to believe that moment you're living in is the moment that will stick with you forever.

Every moment I spent with her was the moment I want to stick with me forever. But it's too bad that life doesn't work that way. It's too bad you can't go back in time because if I could I would make things right. I would go back and tell her how much she meant to me. But I can't. Not even if I wanted to.

It all happened in 2011 back at home in Sendai, Japan. I remember I was on the ice, practicing as usual. That was until the ice started to shake and then the ground began to shake and then it was chaos. I remember standing on one side of the rink with her standing on the other and just like a tragic fairytale, the ice split right through the middle, separating me from her. Although we were separated by the crack in the ice, I didn't hesitate to try and reach her. I remember watching her cower in fear as the roof of the rink began to collapse. She looked helpless and I felt helpless. The last thing I remember seeing of her was the tears rushing down her face. I couldn't help her. I couldn't save her. A coach in the rink pulled me off the ice and escorted me to safety, telling me to join the rest of the survivors who were headed to the a safety shelter.

I remember waiting in the shelter with a bunch of coaches and some of my other rink mates. I remembering thinking I lost my family. I remember thinking that I lost her. A few hours later my mom came rushing into the building with her work clothes on,screaming my name in hopes of finding me. And she did. I remember comforting her as she cried thinking dad and Saya died. I remember crying with her. A few more hours after that, dad and Saya came in and found us. I was so grateful in that moment. Grateful for the fact that my family was still together and survived the horrors of the natural disaster.

In contrast, her family wasn't as lucky as mine. They lost her. A wonderful, smart, talented, beautiful daughter whom deserved all the love in the world. They lost her big brother, Mikoto too. I remembering thinking it was better that her brother died in the incident as well. I didn't want her going up to haven alone. I don't know if I was being selfish or just plain stupid. If there's a heaven out there I hope to meet her again some day.

Before she died, I remember how much she loved acting. She told me after she retired from skating she wanted to become an actress. Someone who could pretend to be anything they wanted to be. Someone who could be superhuman. And to me she was. To me she was everything.

Back in the fourth grade she became obsessed with classics like The Sound of Music, The Nutcracker, and how could I forget, The Phantom of the Opera. I could never keep count of the numerous times she made me watch Phantom, or the many times she made me act out the play with her. She believed that she was going to broadway some day and she had me believing that too.

While she was in love with the romantic story between Phantom and Christine, I was in love with her. As far as love stories between young preteens go, the one in love usually ends up surpressing that emotion until it's too late.

The day after her funeral, her mother gave me the replica of Phantoms mask that she created in art class. Ever since that day I've kept it with me. It was a part of her and she was a part of me. I still wear the matching necklace she made for the two of us when we began our Junior years of competition. She said it was something that would keep us connected when when we competed. She knew how lonely I felt on the ice when it was just me and the crowd watching. By just having that necklace, it made me more confident. It made me believe she was still here, watching me, skating with me, supporting me. To this days it's become my good luck charm. From the minute I won my first Grand Prix Final to the moment I won gold at Sochi; the necklace was with me. She was with me.

Although there were many different reasons why I feel in love with her, I think the main reason was her humor. She was the type of person who could insult you so badly that it would make the normal person cry, but because you were friends it made you laugh. Speaking of laughs, her laugh was contagious. It was one of those laughs that were funnier than the joke and I thought it made her even more perfect.

As the new skating season approaches, I've decided to dedicate my free program to her. To Phantom. To all the memories I want to hold onto with her. To the many times she's made me watch the musical. To dedicate every element to a reason why I love her. To perfect the program for her. She was my Christine. She was my Angel of Music.