Kill Me Once Shame on Me, Kill Me Twice Shame on You

Spider-Man

"You're sure?" Wade asked Brendan as they both sat closely next to teach other on the sofa staring at a computer that was displaying a living complex this stupid Ryan person was apparently trying to stay low.

Peter could care less honestly. Why was this man so important? Was the kid an old love interest of Wade's? Some sort of child of an enemy? Someone Peter should look out for incase Wade was into them? Peter felt like the whole hints that he'd been given that Wade could possibly be tracking down a relative was just a bullshit cover story. Wade had no family. He'd told Peter what had happened and the arachnid had done research for Wade he he sure that is what had happened because within the last month his Deadpool had had a panic attack thinking that he'd completely made up the existence of his past. To try and convince Wade that he hadn't forgotten his real past Peter brought forth from old archives the articles and reports of the brutal incident of the murder of the family Wade used to belong to.

But that was it. Wade used to belong there. Not anymore. Now Deadpool was his and the haunting idea of his past and the unwelcome newcomer that couldn't leave was stealing away his partner's attention and affection.

What could possibly await Wade down the road he was deciding to take? It's not like anyone from his past was connected into this sonWade shouldn't care. They're dead and they don't mater anymore.

And Brendan.  Peter glared angry daggers at the other Brunette in the room.

The name even in Peter's thoughts fell with the sound of venomous hate. He hadn't minded the man when he was behind the bars. He'd been someone Peter had sometimes even looked forward speaking to when his weeks decided to be kind and temporarily freeing.

...But that was before the other showed up. Before he tugged Wade even deeper into this stupid addictive hunt for the stupid man that had tried to kill them.

Brendan glanced up at Peter with a calm, innocent look. He was almost unaware of the resent Peter held for him and it made Peter's anger faulter and chest seize in guilt. Brendan had no control over this and wasn't trying to deceive him by taking away the only luring light in Peter's life that had been slowly dimming against his will simply because they kept turning away.

Peter looked away, eyes latching onto something else, anything other then the sea colored eyes. He was filled with a heavy guilt that pained and disgusted him. His envy over the other making him sick in many ways. The arachnid didn't remain in the room longer, quickly leaving the room that seemed to be quickly shrinking and collapsing in on itself as Brendan watched him go, the Spider's breaths short and gasping, ears ringing as he was slowly being eaten away by some invisible force that gnawed at him and made his skin crackle and itch even as he raked his nails painfully down his arms in hopes to make the feeling go away. He just wanted it to stop. Wanted it all to just end. It hurt to much, it was too loud.

Rationally thinking Peter knew that there wasn't any noise, it was just him and his labored breaths in the bedroom. But that's what was wrong. Wade was supposed to fill that silence, he was supposed to chirp and sing like a wonderful little bird Peter could gaze at all day.

Wade was supposed to make the cold fingers of danger disappear as he ran his own warm ones against peters skin. He used to whisper sweet nothings into Peter's ear, begging him to never think of doing any of the things Peter had always attempted but had been stopped before he got to far into the harmful process.

But where was Wade? He'd promised he'd never leave Peter's side. He'd said he'd save Peter from himself but where was he? He wasn't here now... he couldn't stop Peter.

Couldn't stop the pained gasp coming from Peter as the itching pain seemed to ebb away with every short stroke from then small razor that cut delicate fingers.

Wade wasn't there.

But Peter didn't care.

He was guilty and he needed to be punished. Peter was horrible for what he thought. This was how he would tell himself that. Maybe train himself to be better. Be what everyone expected from Spider-Man.

The hero who couldn't shut up because he was afraid. Afraid of the screams that would consume him in silence if he ever stopped his talking.