I don't know what to feel , is it remorse, guilt , accomplishment , euphoria , relief, lonelyness , invicibility , higlighted ? I just don't know
My mother scolded me for doing something that I did not expect would happen. It was just a mistake .... I don't even know if it was a mistake. I don't know how to judge the result was it good or was it bad? I really don't know. If I decided differently how would I feel about it's effects. It's really hard to reflect on something that you don't even know if it happened for better or for worse.
All I know is that I want to be alone in my room, my kingdom. The home of my books, makeup , toys , school stuff and my ever relliant phone. Don't forget about that bed that is always there for you. But what shall I do? I don't even know what I'm in the mood to do. Do I even have a mood?
Is life really made to be like this? Right now I feel like the only thing that could be felt is dark matter. Better yet, I feel like an asteroid in the universe just wondering around dark matter like a maniac. In which the closest matter to me is 202, 417 light years away. It's Leira a lonely moon revolving 1 light year away from it's planet.
Now I know That's EXACTLY how I feel. A small peice of useless rock floating around nothingness. I don't even know if I still want to float. If I could just drop myself into nothingness I'd do it. As long as I'm alone , feeling nothing , doing nothing.
