Cinder

Ashes

I sit cross legged on my kitchen floor with a box of matches and another candle. I strike the rough surface and stare at the match for a moment before lighting the candle. I smile, the heat warming my face in the cold, dark home.

A door slams, and I hear footsteps coming up the stairs. The door to our flat is unlocked and my brother enters the small kitchen.

"What are you doing?" He questions looking to the box of matches and the second candle lit.

"You were here when I left over an hour ago, Jules. Have you been sitting here the entire time?" He asks his voice getting higher.

I don't say a word nor do I nod, I just look down at my second candle.

"Get up Jules, go to bed." My brother orders.

"I don't wanna," I respond.

He sighs and stalks off whispering something under his breath.

I look back to my candle, a small hint of excitement rises in my chest as I strike one more match. I stare at it a while, I didn't hear my brother come up behind me.

Two hands grab me around the waist lifting me clear off the floor. Pulling me away before something quite large came tumbling down. That's when I noticed that the entire kitchen was a flame.

Transfixed by the flames I allow my brother to steer me away from the orange light. I don't even attempt to scream, my nostrils already filling with smoke.

Down the stairs of the complex he ran, carrying me all the way. Just as we hit the pavement in front of the rather large building that was now beginning to burn, I find my voice.

"Mommy- DAD!" I yell at my brother.

He drops me, without a word from him I know I have to stay put. I watch him bound up the stairs, yelling all the way,

"Out! Fire! Get OUT!"

Now curled in a ball on the pavement I watch the scene unfold through the windows, lights coming on, panic. People toppling over one another to escape the flames. Through my own window I see my brother attempt to enter our apartment but blocked. He attempts and fails as a large wooden block falls from no where. He quickly retreats back to out, down the stairs, helping others out of the building.

I see family members trying to find each other, I hear the 4-5-6 numbers being dialed and I smell the smoke from the building.

Still however I don't cry, I don't feel anything, not fear nor guilt. A little curiosity, but nothing none the less.

I see through the smoke and gloom flashing lights, and amongst the screams I hear sirens. A hand to my shoulder turns me around, it's my brother,

"Nik-" I begin but stop.

I know that look, I've only ever seen it once before, when I accidentally burned the cat. He wants me to run, he wants me to hide.

"Go, now Jules," he commands.

I turn my back on the scene beginning to unfold, the police arriving, the firemen trying to salvage the building. I run, quickly and far away to my safe place.

I just have to wait until Nikolas comes to get me, it won't be long, and mommy will be there, with dad. We'll go to grandmas, she'll let us stay there, she always has.

So I wait, inside the deserted warehouse filled with boxes. Schitz Dick, came around, this is also his hide out, especially when it rains.  The shabby man looks at me, then climbs inside his shabby home where he keeps his shabby treasure.

"Ey, kid. You wanna come 'ere. I got some extra food stuffs." Dick slurred.

"Not today." I respond.

"Dat right, you're the quiet one. Where your brother be at? He's always with ya."

I shrug,

"He will be here."

"Well, as long as you don' say an thing to an one I won't," he winked to me.

I smiled,

"Ok Dick"

So we waited together, him leaving every now and again, reasons unknown.

"I jus'- I jus' gotta," he tells me each time.

So I waited, and waited. For him, Nikolas, Dad, Mommy.

They never came back the same way.