4 Years.

4 Years: Spring Break.

Although Alex and I were supposed to go to paradise on Sunday, she had gotten a call and flew off to Texas to see her dad. My break wasn't supposed to have started until Monday, but Mom and I packed up the car and left early. We arrived at the hotel late Sunday night, so I didn't get to see Mark until Monday.

I woke up at 7 A.M. on Monday morning and jumped in the shower. I hadn't spoken to Mark since Saturday and my plan was to surprise him. After my shower, I got into my nicest pair of jeans and a cobalt blue crop top. As I was putting on my shoes, I yelled to Mom that I was leaving. She said goodbye and I was on my way. The hotel we were staying in was too far for me to walk, so I took Mom's car. On the way to Mark's, I kept trying to figure out if I was nervous, excited or scared to see him. I pulled into his driveway and took a few moments to catch my breath. I got out of the car and walked to the door. I got one knock in before he ran out, grasping me in his arms. We stood there hugging and crying for a moment before he kissed me. I don't want to lie and say I hated it, but I also didn't love it. I couldn't tell him that I wasn't into it, or that I had met someone new and that she was also, well, a she. I went along with it, and pretended to be into it. Him and I stopped kissing (thankfully) and he invited me inside. I said hello to his folks and we ventured into his room. Him and I sat on the bed talking about school and the move for 2 hours, then Mom called me home. I went home and went to bed.

The next few days we just hung around the hotel or looked at the little shops in town. Friday around 4 P.M. I went over to his house. I took Mom's car again, and as I pulled up I felt strange. You know how you can just sense when something is going to go wrong?

I walked into the house to find him in bed watching a movie, I curled up next to him and finished it with him. After the movie he looked at me and said "Would you do the honor of accompanying me for dinner?". I said yes and then he pulled out a bag from underneath his bed. I opened the bag to find a gorgeous red body-con dress and black heels. I went into the bathroom and got dressed. I came out to find him in a suit and tie, the whole nine yards. At this moment I had butterflies, but I was also perplexed. As we went to leave, my phone went off.

Alex: Hey sweet cheeks, just checking in. How's it going over there?

I couldn't possibly talk to her while Mark and I were on our date, so I just said "I really can't talk right now. Sorry."

I felt like complete shit, but I couldn't let Mark find out about her, and I didn't want her to find out about him. 

Mark and I rode into town in his truck, and got out at the most expensive place in town. This place was always my favorite, although I'd only eaten there once. Mark and I walked in and it turned out that he had made a reservation for us at the rooftop diner. We walked up the stairs and were sat at a table in the middle of the roof. The table had a red silk tablecloth and 4 candles surrounding a huge bouquet of roses that was placed in the center of the table. There were lanterns hung from string around the edge of the roof. I was absolutely entranced by the beauty of this place. Mark and I got a bottle of complementary champagne along with bread sticks upon sitting down. We chatted about small things until dinner was done. At the end of dinner, he asked me to dance. We got up and danced until my feet hurt. I went to go sit down, but he grabbed my hand and lead me to look at him. I turned around to him on one knee.

Mark: Emma Rose, I knew from the moment that I met you that I wanted to be with you forever. I want to grow old with you, raise kids with you and die beside you. Four years isn't enough time, I want forever. Will you marry me?

At that moment, all of time stopped and my heart dropped. I was crying, but not for reasons I should have been.

Me: Mark, I can't.