U.N.E.

Chapter Twenty

This must have been how Alexander felt before the Fall of London. Maybe. Angela honestly had trouble picturing Alex sitting in the cockpit of his old Mark II, sweating like a pig and second guessing actions and moves he hadn't even made yet. That guy was always as cool as ice in combat. Was he like that now? Was he just sitting in the cockpit of the Aegis reading a book, or catching a few more minutes of sleep? Did he not feel fear?

Fear, she thought to herself and couldn't stop a smile from crossing her lips. Alex had once asked her if she was afraid to go into combat, and when she had told him that she didn't fear anything he scoffed at her. What had he said back then? Oh, right, 'People who risk their lives always feel fear, even if they claim they don't. They use that fear to push themselves forwards when others would just grab their knees and cry. Fear is what keeps you and the ones fighting with you alive.'

If Angela was to believe what he said back then, which she did, then she could only assume that he was also talking about himself. Her own father had once told her that being brave does not mean you are unafraid, rather that you accept your own fears and master them. That pretty much summed Alex up. It wasn't that he wasn't afraid, just that he used his fear to push himself further. The real question was how many battles it had taken for him to get to that point. This was only Angela's third battle, yet her hands shook and she felt the sting of tears in her eyes as her stomach roiled in anticipation. It was a horrible feeling and she wished she could be like Alexander and just overcome it.

Almost as if Alex could read her thoughts, her computer screen lit up with an incoming call from the Aegis. Angela quickly pulled her helmet off and flipped the switch for the dull interior lights, seeing that it was a video call rather than voice only. She was sure she looked like hell, but given the circumstances she couldn't do any better. Not that it mattered, as this probably wasn't a personal call.

“Is something wrong?” she asked as soon as she accepted the call. The screen in front of her lit up as Alex came into view, his own helmet off and his blonde hair slightly damp from sweat. His eyes locked onto his own screen and picked her out, a small smile crossing his pale lips. “Has something happened at the front?”

“You have access to the same information I do,” Alexander answered nonchalantly, his voice a little cold and hollow through her speakers.

“T... then why are you calling me?” Angela asked in confusion, unsure what this was all about. This didn't seem like him.

“Do I need a reason to talk to my second in command? I just wanted to make sure you're not getting too nervous,” he said, and as soon as the words were out of his mouth he began to giggle. It was a soft and quick giggle, but Angela had definitely heard it.

“W... why are you laughing? I'm so lost now.”

“Sorry, it's just... it's just that this is so familiar,” he laughed once more and now all Angela could do was shake her head in confusion. “My sister used to call me up just before a battle like this all the time, and my reaction was the same reaction you just gave. Even my words were the same ones she used.”

“Ah,” she sighed and smiled now as well, understanding coursing through her mind like a soothing wave, “I see. So it's like a tradition? You had me worried there for a second. I thought something might have happened.”