I walk up the street towards the two story faded brick building in the middle of downtown Olsen. The busses are still dropping people off to the school, a flood of Greenies with varying auras. There’s small groups of people walking into the building together. Nobody really caught my eyes as the rain began to pick up, soaking through my jacket and into the cotton of my button up. Or so I thought. Then I saw her. A girl with long red hair fanning out behind her as she ran into the school building. The tug pulls me so hard I actually stumble forward.
I groan inwardly, not wanting to go back into that prison I had already attended for four years. Sluggishly, my feet move ever forward towards the epitome of hell trapped within an old red brick exterior. I weave through the sea of kids and a small blonde girl with obviously fake extensions and a spray tan came over to me and put her hand on my arm.
“You new here cutie?” she asked, fluttering her eyes. Too low too tight shirt covering just enough that it’s deemed whatever “school appropriate” might be. The thing didn’t leave much, if not anything, to the imagination.
I shrug her off and hurry down the hall, trailing this mystery girl. I definitely didn’t miss high school. A dungeon where you lose all sense of being human, all sense of creativity, individualism and dignity. Forced to mingle amongst people that should be in juvenile detention or even prison and girls who should work in strip clubs if they didn’t already. The sheer fakeness in this place is suffocating.
Where is she going?
The library.
I stop dead in my tracks. Her voice chilling me to the non-existent bones. The chill just gives me more motivation to find her.
Luckily for me, her red hair is easy to follow through the sea of muted coloured heads. I’m pushed harshly to the side of the hall by some giant senior guy, “Get out of my way faggot.” he snarls as I’m shoved into the lockers to my right, shoulder slamming into the locker hard enough to make a small dent in the flimsy metal. Yeah. Definitely no regret for hating it here.
Don’t react Kade. Come and find me. She walks so easily amongst them, but I can tell that she wants to be here no more than I do. Her head is tucked down, avoiding the prying eyes and judging minds of the teengaers that fill these horrid halls, a small notebook clutched hard to her chest. She walks in a way I know too well. Trying to disappear as I always had tried to do when I was living. I have a stronger feeling when I realize that, pulling me harder after her.
So needless to say, I sprint after the girl, ignoring the shouts of protest of the kids I fly past. Reaching the door of the library I watch her pad quietly to a small couch amid the bookshelves. The pull in my gut was so strong it hurt. That was her. She was my voice.
There’s a tap on my shoulder and I spin around, clearly jumpy, to see a man in a dark suit and a light blue tie.
“Young Man” He says authoritatively, obviously directed towards me.
Great I think to myself. I made it all this way to be sold out by some man who tries way too hard to look official.
“Student ID?” he demanded, holding his hand out.
“I was actually trying to find the enrollment office.” I answer him quickly, knowing I need a cover. Only after I’m being lead down a maze of hallways away from the girl do I realize that they’ll recognize me. They’ll know my name and my face because this was the high school I should’ve graduated from. Kade Ryan unfortunately for me, as a pretty well known name now.
“But you see sir, that girl there,” I motion to the girl that was my voice. “She is showing me around. She told me to meet her in the library this morning and I’m going to be late.” I glance at my watch to try to sell it.
“Alright then, get a move on. Make sure you get an ID before the end of the day.” the man responds gruffly.
I nod, “Yes sir, thank you.” With that I turn and make a beeline for the library doors.
Opening them quietly I walk towards the group of shelves near the couch that the beautiful girl now sits on, a notebook resting precariously on her lap, the morning sun catching her hair, making it look fire red, but the pretty colour. The one that mesmerizes you and makes you feel warm and happy. I browse the shelves uninterested, my fingertips running over the spines of the books all lined up, waiting to take someone on a journey that could change their entire perspective on life. I realize suddenly that this is where I would always spend my mornings. In this section of the library, the couch surrounded by walls of books.
Come here Kade, sit with me.
Her. I know it’s her.
Walking over quietly towards the couch I stand in front of her. If my heart still beat I know it’d be racing. And if I still had blood coursing through my veins it would be gathering in my cheeks, flushing them a light pink.
“Excuse me miss? Could you help me find a book to read?” I ask her quietly, not wanting to scare her.
If my heart still beat I know it’d be racing. And if I still had blood coursing through my veins it would be gathering in my cheeks, flushing them a light pink.
But I’m dead. A shade or a ghost. Angel or fallen angel. Whatever you wish to call me. A person trapped between worlds for whatever reason. Knowing only that she is the force holding my feet to the ground.
