camp | eruri

I Hate You.

When I woke up, I was sleeping in bed with Erwin. I don't recall ever walking back to the cabin last night, but whatever the case, I really did not feel like getting up. Not only was I sleeping with Erwin and I was super warm, but my head was hurting and I felt dizzy, even lying down. It wasn't even a hungover kind of hurt or dizziness, everything just seemed like a blur.

Erwin moved around beside me, tightening his grip around my waist and pulling me closer to him. I cherished that small moment before looking at the clock and seeing that I woke up twenty minutes late. I abruptly got up, almost losing my balance, but I just focused on getting ready as fast as I could.

I hopped in the shower, only washing my hair and then dressing quickly. I rustled a towel around in my hair, trying to get it as dry as I could. I ran back to mine and Erwin's room, shaking him awake. He slowly opened his eyes, rubbing them and yawning.

"I woke up twenty minutes late, and you need to get up." I said, bursting out of the room and going into another to wake the oldest boys up first.

Before I knew it, everyone in the cabin was working together to get ready and prepare to leave. This year has definitely felt more rushed than I thought it would, but I'm glad all of the younger kids are having fun. Erwin finally got out of bed and into the shower, showering quicker than I did. He hadn't spoken to me since I'd woken him up, but I'm sure he was just as stressed as I was to get to breakfast on time.

When it came time to go, I lined everyone up and walked to the front of the line. Erwin locked the door to the cabin, waving for me to head on. I nodded, taking the kids to the cafeteria and letting Erwin take the rear. I turned around after five minutes to make sure everyone was here, but Erwin wasn't there. I was a bit confused at first, but maybe he forgot something in the cabin.

I continued walking, everything going by being oblivious to me. Once we reached the cafeteria, I let everyone file in before me. Marco was in the very back of the line, so I pulled him aside to talk to him.

"Hey Bodt, do you mind taking over for a bit? I don't know where Erwin is and I'm gonna go look for him. You don't mind, do you?" I asked, almost pleading.

"Of course not, Levi. I've got your back." He said with a soft smile.

I patted him on the back and he headed into the cafeteria as I headed off. I was met by several cabins on the way back to my own, all of them going to breakfast. As I neared the cabin, I saw Erwin on the porch with someone. The person had blonde hair, and it was long, so it must be a girl. I continued getting closer, and I noticed how close they were to each other. Erwin was only inches away from her face, and that's when I noticed who it was: Annie.

Erwin's hand reached up to her cheek and cupped her face. He said something to her, and she smiled while a blush spread across her cheeks. Erwin leaned closer, their noses touching. Annie eyed me and smirked, winking. That's when I was absolutely furious. She looked back up to Erwin and kissed him. She pulled his face to hers, making sure to not let him go. After a few seconds, Erwin pushed her away, breathing heavily. He saw me and he looked as if his heart dropped to the pit of his stomach, just as mine had. I just stared at him, not knowing whether to be sad or angry.

"I hate you, Erwin Smith!" I screamed, not caring if the entire world heard.

He started to run off the porch when Annie grabbed him. I threw my middle finger up at both of them and stormed off. I didn't know where I was running to, I just needed to get out of there. I ran and ran and ran and ran until I reached the basketball courts, which were right beside a huge open field. I sat on the edge of the woods beside the courts, holding my knees to my stomach. I began crying, not really caring if some monstrous creature, or even a person killed me right here. I wept into my knees, tears wetting my clothes and legs. I felt like my entire body had just been stabbed endlessly, but it still hadn't killed me yet, leaving me in immense pain.

I heard rustling beside me and jerked my head up quickly, only to see a squirrel climbing up a tree. I sniffled, watching the squirrel as it wandered aimlessly, caring about nothing other than the next time it'd eat, most likely. I sat still for a bit, not thinking much and not paying attention to anything around me. A few minutes later, I heard someone walking towards me. I panicked, but turned my back to see someone I didn't expect to see: Marco.

He walked right up beside me and then sat down, getting into the same position I was in. We sat in silence for a bit, only with occasional sniffles from me or the slight shift of our weight on the fallen leaves.

"What brings you out here?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"I should be asking you." Marco replied, looking at me with empathy.

I sighed, my lip quivering. I sniffled again and looked over at him.

"I know you're not judgmental, so I'll be honest with you. Since the first day or so of camp, Erwin and I have kind of been a thing. I mean, we've kissed and spent a lot of time together. Before I got here, I absolutely despised him, but I actually got to see what he was really like. I gave him a second chance to show me who he really was, and I was so glad I did, because he wasn't the asshole I thought him out to be. He is sweet, caring, incredibly handsome, and just wonderful. Well, I thought all that until I got back to our cabin." I said, becoming quiet.

"What happened?" Marco asked curiously.

"I was just going to go check on him and he was on the porch with that bitch, Annie. They were really close to each other, and I knew something was up. I got closer and Annie looked over at me and just smirked, then she pulled Erwin down to her and they kissed. Erwin didn't try to get loose, he just let it happen. When she finally let go of him, he saw me and just stared at me with his mouth open. I flipped them off and ran as fast as I could away from them."

"Levi, I'm so sorry..." Marco trailed off, rubbing my back to calm me down.

"It's not your fault. Maybe I shouldn't have given him that second chance. I wouldn't feel bad at all right now if I hadn't. I've never felt this way, but my heart feels like it's in the bottom of my stomach and I don't feel happy." I said, a tear falling.

"You just got your heart broken, of course you don't feel happy. If you didn't really care about him, you wouldn't feel this way, so that tells you something. Before you totally end anything you have with him, you should really just talk to him, because maybe it was an accident or Annie forced him to. Just don't jump to the worst possible conclusion, 'cause there's always light at the end of a dark tunnel." Marco said, smiling at me.

I smiled back at him, wiping any tears or snot from my face. He stood up, reaching his hand down for me. I grabbed his hand and he pulled me up. I wiped myself off, getting any leaves or dirt off of my clothes. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and we started walking back towards the cafeteria.

"I'm really thankful for you, Marco. You're great and I have no doubt you'll be the best cabin leader next year." I said, smiling and pinching his cheek lightly.

"Thanks, Levi, but I obviously learned from the best." He said, patting my shoulder.

We laughed and walked back up to the cafeteria to meet up with the whole cabin. I didn't see Erwin with them, so Marco and I quickly gathered them all up and headed off to our first activity of the day.

I didn't want to think about Erwin, but he would not and could not leave my head.

I felt like I shouldn't give him another chance, but how many has he given me?

He gave me so many chances, he deserves at least one more.