Captain America Bucky Barnes Winter Soldier Steve Rogers Fan Fic - The Constant

Chapter Thirty: After The Wipe

"I can't," you say. There is something wrong here. You don't feel you know this man, the look on his face, his eyes, his movements.

He ignores you and flexes again, then with concentration pulls forward and the straps start to give.

You take a step back.

The doctors are just coming in. They see what is happening, and one calls for the guards who come in with stun rifles. The straps have broken and he has swung around to sit on the side of the bed; it is obvious that he feels dizzy with nausea. He is dressed as he was in the main room, bare chest, trousers, bare feet.

He sits there for a while, head down, eyes closed, hands gripping the side of the bed. You need to do something.

"Drink this. It may help." you say. You pass him the cup of water on the bedside table, he looks at it for a moment. "It's just water."

He studies you then takes it and drinks it straight down.

You take the empty cup and and he stands. You step forward to help but he ignores you. He doesn't seem violent; he is just trying to get his bearings. You turn to the chair and pick up one of his tee shirts and then pass it to him to put on. Whilst he is pulling it down, Doctor Lehmann comes in and steps forward. The patient looks at him.

He seems to recognise authority when he sees it.

"What happened? Where am I?" he asks Lehmann.

"What do you remember?" Lehmann asks cautiously, glancing at you yet ready to step back if necessary.

The two guards stand by, rifles ready. The Winter Soldier glances at them and then away. It is obvious from his reaction he feels they are of no danger to him.

Lehmann thinks that Fennhoff must have been right; their plan seems to have worked. Fennhoff had said that a full wipe would combine the personalities and looking at the man in front of him he believes that is what has happened. You see a triumphant look on his face and it makes you shudder.

The patient looks at you. You can see you are familiar to him but you are not important. He has judged and dismissed you already; he doesn't think you can tell him what he needs to know.

Lehmann turns around to you. "You can go now," he says.

You look at the Winter Soldier, almost as if asking for permission. He just stares at you. Nothing. You do not know what to say.

"I said you can go now, nurse...we do not need you at this point." Lehmann repeats and indicates to one of the guards to take you out. As you leave you look over your shoulder; you see the patient lean forward, Lehmann talking to him quietly, and then the guard closes the door and you are alone in the corridor.

You walk back to your room. It seems so cold and uninviting without him there. You sit on the edge of the bed and your mind is in turmoil. When Lehmann said they didn't need you, you wonder if he was going to add the words any more.

This new Winter Soldier's eyes were cold, dead. No, worse than that; he looked at you as if you meant nothing to him. His feelings are dead and that is what they wanted, that is what happened when he was wiped. You remember as they turned up the dial making you watch the agony he went through, he may not remember you but you remember everything. You feel empty and tired and worn out. You curl up on the bed, trying not to think, hoping to lose yourself in sleep, but you can't. Memories of the field camp, of James, of your parents, your life, all whirl around in your head and you think you are going to go mad.

Later, when you cannot stand your own company any longer, you try to leave your room only to find a guard blocking your way. He tells you that for the rest of today you must stay in there - Lehmann's orders. A meal is delivered at midday, and then later in the evening but you barely touch them. The hours drag by until finally you give in and go to bed. You spend a restless night wondering what is going to happen.