babygirl & daddys

Babygirls past.

(Before finding daddy)

He told me he loved me. I guess I believed him. He was always there for me, he held me when I broke down. He even bought me any thing I wanted. And as a daddy, that's important. Because babygirls attention needs filled.

I remember having a nightmare, I was kicking and screaming and he came running in. He was the first to ever break his own rules. His rules were simple:
1- we never sleep in the same bed
2- no foul language
3- non tantrums in public
4- no means no
5- never bother daddy when mad
I always listened to those rules. But I guess that wasn't enough for him to not get totally wasted at night and beat me. To not get mad and throw bottles at my head. To not wake me up by dragging me by my hair down the stairs. He was always good at showing his love. He always got on his knees crying, begging me not to leave him. That was my first mistake. Because sorry doesn't mean sorry when your an alcoholic.

Daddy came home real late one night, I could smell the liquor from where he was standing. I was scared right away. He walked toward me, grabbed my waist and picked me up. He threw me against the door, scaringly ripping my shirt off. He picked me back up and walked up the stairs with me, I knew better than to say anything or to try and struggle. I knew what was gonna happen. We got to the 'play room' and he threw me down on the bed. Ripping my clothes off. He didn't spare me for a second. I never bled, but I bled then. When he saw what was happening he was so pissed off. He started yelling and I tried to tell him he'd been to rough, that baby girl was new at this. But he just started beating me. Hit after hit..I don't remember much after that.