This Secret Love Of Mine

Love Hurts

I smoothed out my knee-length ruby red dress. It ruffled at the ends and the petticoat I wore underneath really fluffed up the skirt of the dress. The upper portion of my dress had spaghetti straps and the red fabric curved just right to my torso. I puckered my lips and applied the equally vibrant red lipstick to my lips. I smiled at my finished complexion and moved a curl over my shoulder that was previously covering my face. I twirled in my dress feeling just like a princess in new red based ensemble. Picking up my purse from the dresser, I quickly headed out the front door and to my car. My heart fluttered as I buckled up my seatbelt. With my eyes fixated on the dimly lit road ahead of me, and my now sweaty palms on the steering wheel, I drove to the restaurant.

Once I arrived, I was greeted by a smiling Alex. I swear, her smile could light up a room. I smiled back politely and looked at her attire. Her wavy strawberry-blonde hair flowed over her shoulder like a waterfall and settled at her waist. My eyes trailed down to her sky blue dress that had, in my opinion, perfectly complimented her in everyway. The dress flowed down to three inches past her knees and hugged her body in just the right way over all her curves. I looked back at her face and saw she had a nude colored lipstick. I looked back at my own dress and sighed, I was too dressed up wasn't I? She looked so casual, yet she looked so gorgeous like a goddess that fell down to earth. Then there was me, I looked like a teenager all dolled up for the tackiest prom in the world and had been blessed with absolutely no attractive features. Alex smiled at me,"You look very nice today, Lucy." I felt my heart skip a beat as my clammy hands fiddled with my spaghetti straps and my face flushed a pink tone."T-thanks, you do too." I smiled a bit and mentally cursed myself as we headed into the restaurant. After a bit of waiting we were seated at a table. There were a few moments of silence and I finally spoke up after what seemed like an eternity."So... um.. How are you and Jacob?", she smiled at the mention of her lover. "We're doing great. Oh, he really is the perfect man for me", she sighed dreamily,"We both love going out into the forest and hiking up mountains and rocky paths. I'm hoping he'll pop the question soon. After all, it has been three years." I smiled and nodded in response,but on the inside my heart sank to my feet. "Well,he sure is a lucky guy." I responded with a fake and forced smile plastered on my face. Alex simply smiled and shared her gratitude. All the while thoughts raced through my mind of what could've been if I had just asked her all those years ago. Would things be different? After I had come out to her I had hoped she would say that she was gay too, or something along those lines. Unfortunately, she hadn't and I got so discouraged to the point that I decided not to ask. Later she told me about Jacob and how great of a boyfriend he was. I would just smile and go with it, but in reality it hurt my heart. It really did and I would sometimes wish I was in Jacob's shoes. I never got the courage,and now I would never have the chance to ask her. She will most likely be engaged soon and I would be at their wedding. I would sit there smiling as rose petals were dropped daintily by the flower girls as she,the bride, walked down the aisle. The scent of roses in the air and the cool and gentle spring breeze would blow her veil and her hair slightly. I snapped back into reality as our food arrived. The breathtaking aroma made my mouth water immediately and I couldn't help but start eating in the most unattractive way. Alex laughed and I marvelled at how it sounded like the perfect melody. "Be careful", she said into between those perfect laughs,"I don't want you dying on me." I felt my face heat up in embarrassment as I slowed down my food shoveling pace. As the dinner progressed we chatted more about our lives and what had been happening lately. My palms were sweaty throughout the entire night and occasionally I would stumble and stutter over my words. After a few hours we exchanged phone numbers and, much to my dismay, bid farewell as we went our separate ways. I couldn't help but wonder what could've been once more as I drove to my home. I stepped into my house and kicked off my heels, the sound of my heels echoing as they fell down on the hard wooden floor. It was only then that I realized how lonely and cold my house was without having someone to talk to. That dinner had to be one of the most exciting and happiest moments that i have been through. Now, it's just me,myself,and I.