A Coffee Shop In Amsterdam

 Mary sat in a coffee shop. It was a small shop, but it was packed with people. Though the sea of people, however, were huge windows that showed a view of a river. Mary was in Amsterdam, waiting for her boyfriend. Her boyfriend had moved there because of his job, and she was hoping to surprise him at his favorite coffee shop. Her boyfriend's name was Marcus, and Marcus was due to arrive any second. He and Mary had dated all through high school, and through some of college. Everything had been running smoothly. Sure they had their spats every now and then, but the love they had for each other went deeper than any argument. It wasn't until Marcus was scouted by a big architecture firm, that their life changed forever. Now, of course, Mary was happy for him, but the firm was based in Amsterdam. Ten thousand miles away from Michigan St. University.

"I won't go, another job will come some other day, one that's based here." Marcus had told her. But Mary knew he desperately wanted to go. Living in another country had been a dream of his, and the pay would be good.

"No, this is your dream Marcus and I am not going to keep you from it." Mary said.

"Come with me, Mary. I know you have you teaching job here, and I know that I don't have any right to ask you this but I need you." He pleaded. But Mary had friends in Michigan, she had a teaching job, she couldn't just leave her students.

"You know I can't go." Mary said.

After a long winded debate, Marcus finally agreed that he would go to Amsterdam, and leave Many behind. Mary was heartbroken when he left. They had kept their relationship alive, but it wasn't enough. There wasn't the same spark that was there before. Mary had flown thousands of miles hoping to rekindle their relationship. So she sat there, in the tiny coffee shop with the big windows waiting for Marcus to walk through the doors. As she waited she stared out the window, she noticed a couple along the river and saw them kiss, she looked away embarrassed, not wanting to spy. There was something familiar about the man though. When she looked  closer, she realized it was Marcus. Her Marcus, the Marcus that said he loved her, the Marcus that said he would remain faithful, the Marcus that said he would never betray her, the same Marcus that was kissing another woman. At first, Mary felt as though she couldn't move, she was angry and hurt and betrayed. But most of all, she was heartbroken. You see, Marcus asked her something one night. They were on the couch watching a movie when he turned to her and asked.

"Will you marry me?"

He looked so hopeful, so full of love, but Mary was so shocked and surprised that she didn't say anything. As her brain worked it over and considered his offer, she realized that she was terrified. She thought that when you said 'yes' it was supposed to feel right, but Mary didn't feel any of that. She felt like she was going to throw up.

"No." Mary said tenderly. After a pause, she said "I want more time to figure things out with you," she said it softly, as if he were a piece of glass and he might break if she said something too loud.

"Is this it, are we over." Markus resembled a wounded animal, hurt and confused. Not sure what he did wrong or what he did to deserve this. 

"No! I just want more time, I want to be sure, really really sure." Mary said. 

"But I am sure! I love you, I want to marry you, to spend the rest of my life with you, to have kids together, to grow old together." he paused.  "I can't imagine doing any of that without you."

Mary was on the verge of tears, what he said was heartfelt, open, and beautiful. But she still carried the feeling of uncertainty, the feeling that maybe Marcus wasn't right for her, that his love for her wouldn't last forever.

"I want all of that too, let's just wait. Let's just be absolutely sure, ok?" Mary said tentatively. After a long silence, Markus finally replied

"Ok."

Their relationship continued, but there was a rift growing between them. And now there was this. Marcus and his new girlfriend walked in the coffee shop laughing. Mary just stared, immobile. When Markus finally saw her, his smile was wiped off of his face. Mary sat there, staring. Markus looked at where Mary was sitting and knew she had seen them kiss. It wasn't like Mary to stay quiet, normally she would have exploded, yelled and screamed and thrown a fit. It didn't matter that they were in a public place she would have let him have it. But Mary didn't do any of that, she just sat there, staring.

"I can explain." Marcus said

"Explain what, who is this woman?" said the girlfriend. Mary finally moved, she stood up, and walked out. As she was trudging away from that dreaded coffee shop she started to cry, Marcus didn't need to see that, he hated it when girls cried. "I just don't know what to do!" he would say. Mary walked and walked and walked. She was deaf to the things going on around her. She had no idea where she was going, or what was going on around her, but she kept walking. Finally, someone put a hand on her shoulder, Mary's face was swollen from all the crying, and her cheeks were wet with tears, but the stranger caressed her face gently.

"I still don't know what to do when women cry." It was Marcus. Mary looked up at him, she wanted to do something, to slap him, punch him, throw him in the river but she kept on staring.

"You never gave me a chance to explain at the coffee shop," Markus said.

"I didn't need an explanation, it's clear that you don't want me anymore." Mary was a woman scorned and she wanted payback. "I saw you, I saw you smile like you haven't with me in forever. We're over. I'm done trying to love you when you clearly do not feel the same way." Mary said. She started to walk away until Marcus grabbed her hand. 

"No" he said. This surprised her, usually, she was the was the one to get angry and lose her temper. "I am going to explain and you are going to listen! That girl is my secretary. Things are done differently in this country, you kiss people when you meet them. I would never betray you. I proposed to you for God's sake! I have waited for you for two years, I have had my heart broken by you time after time, I love you more than you love me. You don't get to end this relationship. Not after all my suffering." Mary narrowed her eyes, Marcus's speech sparked something in her.

"You think you are the only one who has suffered? You think you are the only one who has sacrificed things for this relationship?" Mary's voice was rising now, but Marcus wouldn't back down. "You may have been waiting for me, you may have never betrayed me, but to claim that you love me more than I love you is ludicrous!" She yelled.

"I do love you more! I asked you to marry me and you said no! I have wondered for years why you said no but I never pressed! I gave you space and time and love but all you gave me was cold and distance!"

"You may have done all that but that is nothing, nothing compared to letting you go!" Mary was screaming now, and crying. Mary continued, "I was cold because I was afraid, afraid that if I got too close to you that I would loose you all over! I was distant, because you were on the other half of the world!"

"Then why did you say no! That was the bit I never figured out, we were so in love, so perfect for each other, and I figured marriage would just be the next step. If we were married, then the company would have let me work from home, but you said NO!"

"I was scared!" Mary screamed.

Marcus stopped. This was not like Mary to admit something like this. Mary was strong, Mary didn't get scared, let alone admit she was scared. Mary looked at Markus, and Markus looked at Mary. It seemed as though for the first time ever, they were really, truly seeing each other. They saw each other for the messes that they were, as imperfect and faulty creatures. 

After a long silence, Marcus said quietly, "It's ok to be scared. I am terrified. Terrified of you, terrified that I will screw everything up, that I won't be good enough for you. That's ok though, because I will still have you." Marcus said softly. Mary looked up at him with her face red, and tears streaming.

"Will you, Mary Kate Winslow, finally accept the fact that you are scared, that everything is not perfect, that I will let you down, that we will make mistakes, and marry me?" Marcus shifted down to one knee and pulled out a ring.

"I have carried this ring with me every day, to remind me of what I am waiting for."

 Mary was still scared, but she had something to help her now, she had her Marcus. With all the mistakes they were going to make in mind, and with all the things that could go wrong, she looked down at her one true love and said.

"Yes."