Crushing Overconfidence

I

Before I got the chance to experience life in all of its entities, I knew there was something a bit aloof about it. Not life itself, but the way I was forced to shape my personality from the expectations that were passed down to me. Even though there was no way I could have physically proven it, I knew from a young age that my life was  a paradox. When a sentence, person, or situation is seen as a paradox, its components are quite contradicting of one another. Yet, there is some hidden meaning and truth to such a concept. I hoped to figure that part out one day.

If you're looking for an over-the-top, cliche high school teen romance story, then I'm sorry to say that you will be rather disappointed. The elements of this story are quite extraordinary, if I do say so myself. But I'll let you be the judge of that.

I once had everything a guy could have possibly wanted: a caring family, good grades, popularity, a nice body, and a booming social life. All of those traits still prevail to some degree, but now, they are nothing like they once were. The past was a lesson that seemed inevitable to move forward from. The present seemed like an ongoing state of monotony. The future was the light in the distance I constantly strived for. Having been so full of life got tiresome at times, but there had never been a day I've regretted my actions. On the other hand, there has been a period of my life where I've regretted the actions of someone else. If that's even possible. 

It was the summer after high school. I was at my peak, ready for the exhilaration that awaited me on a distant campus. It screamed my name. Finally, all my four years of hard work and constant grind were going to pay off. My whole life was a struggle of living up to my parents' expectations of what they wanted out of me as a child. I had no problem fulfilling their desires, because I felt like I somehow found myself along the way of constant hours of reading textbooks and writing up lab reports. Boy was I wrong.

The week after graduation, my friend Alexis threw a party in her dad's giant bay area mansion. To be quite honest, I don't remember much from that night. But sober or not, I'll never forget the one moment from that night that left an impact on me forever.

It was around midnight. There was a plethora of people in various states of unconsciousness passed out on the floor. I was one of the only few that remained awake. Mainly because I wanted to see what played out between the half dressed girls and completely inebriated guys when they all woke up. In the mist of the quietness, I could hear a knock on the door. I got up from the floor I was lying down on to go see who in the world could be this late to a party.

The door revealed a petite girl in ripped jeans and a dark t-shirt with some words slathered onto it that I couldn't quite make sense of at the time. She looked at me for about a second and pushed right past me to head to the kitchen. Out of curiosity, I followed her. She was shifting from one area of the kitchen to another in a matter of seconds. Her figure was getting blurry to me. Before I knew it, she stood in front of me and gave off what seemed to be an insincere smile. 

"Since all of these other idiots are seemingly dead, where are the rest of the bottles?" she asked me. I was quite honestly taken aback, "Excuse me?" She looked at me in disgust for a good five seconds before continuing her search. After a minute of no luck, she asked me again, "Where's the vodka?"

"We only have beer left."

She scoffed at me. "Really? You're disgusting. Lame party, too." She started to walk towards the front door to leave. 

I was too drunk to handle her nonsense in that moment, so as she walked out, I blocked her exit. I grabbed the beer and handed it to her.I tried to assure her there was nothing wrong with it. Although she was hesitant at first, she grabbed it from my hand and chugged it down. A few minutes later, we both sat down on the floor next to each other. Before I knew it, I failed my goal of staying up and fell asleep next to the mysterious girl. 

When I woke up an hour later, she was already awake, staring at the empty vodka bottle in her hand, as if she was inspecting it. It was then when I was able to examine her completely. She was quite a beautiful human being. Her freckles complemented her pale face. The dark hair made a statement on what I already suspected to be her bold lifestyle. Her rose-toned lipstick highlighted a sense of innocence. Her long eyelashes made her gazes seemingly wonderful.

She looked over at me and whistled. "You know, situations can seem strange at times. Sometimes abstract. Sometimes remarkable." I raised an eyebrow, as I became somewhat confused as to what she was even talking about.

She went on, "It's like... Why didn't Rose share the raft with Jack? Why did Allie have to forget Noah? I mean, was life really like a box of chocolates like the famous Mr. Gump once said?" Her somewhat philosophical thoughts intrigued me. "To be honest, it's like the life that we are given is almost..."

"A paradox?" I finished the sentence for her. 

She looked surprised. "Uhhh, do we know each other?

I chuckled and shook my head. "Just something I casually connect to." Then, I looked down and saw her holding the other half of a yin-yang necklace. She wore the yin part around her neck. The girl continually stared at the object in her hands.

I asked her, "What's with the necklaces?"

She half smiled at me. "I always have both. The yin is a take on my unique lifestyle. The other, well, I just have it for fun. How about you?"

"What about me?"

"Are you yin or yang?"

I just stared at her for a few seconds before responding. "Definitely yang. I'm too optimistic and full of positivity to be otherwise. " The girl's eyes were lit up and she smiled at me. A genuine smile this time. She grabbed my hand. The skin contact gave me an electric feel. She opened up my hand, and placed the other half of the necklace in it.

"Hey, it's yours now. See it, wear it, love it. You should be cautious though... don't ever lose it. You never know what could happen." With that, she picked herself up. "I'll be back, I'm going to go to the ladies room." I nodded and continued to examine the symbol on the necklace for a few minutes. What was this supposed to mean?

After thirty minutes, the enigmatic girl failed to return like she said she would. I went to the bathroom in search of her, except she was already long gone. I took a deep breath and walked towards the front door and opened it. This girl was something else. Although I couldn't quite figure her out completely in the couple of hours we spent together, I somehow already knew everything I wanted to know about her. Her presence endlessly cultivated me. Her words struck my world like lightning. I looked at the crescent moon outside and exhaled. I haven't even learned her name yet.