Amadeus Torture

Meeting Amadeus Kurisu

I crashed into her the day I was to save her. She dropped all of her work. She looked at me embarrassed with a small amount of anger before crouching down to pick it back up. I wanted to help, to crouch down beside her and give back her work, but I couldn't move. She looked up at me as I looked down at her as what I'm guessing was shock. "You know you could help." She said bitterly. I stammered and looked around and then back at her, she must have seen the look on my face because after collecting up her papers she looked at me concerned. "Are you okay...? You look like you've seen a ghost..."
I might as well have, I was seeing Kurisu, right in front of me. I finally managed to find my words. "Sorry... I'm just a big fan... And sorry about my outbursts that will come during your talk, I'm just doing it for attention... I just... I like to put scientists on the spot and test people's theories." I say, remembering the day. I called her out so much during her talk.
"I-It's fine, thanks for forewarning me at least." She said and cupped my cheek. "You look so young, yet your eyes look like they've seen worse than anything imaginable... All I can say is that I'm sorry for everything you've lost, and..." She looks into my eyes, the tears brimming. "Everything you're going to lose..." She whispered. How did she know? How did she know I still had to lose something? I couldn't contain my emotions and cried. She stayed with me. She let me cry.
She hugged me as I cried, but even then.

"I didn't save her..." I whispered as fresh tears fell down my face in the elevator.
Maho looked up at me concerned. She hugged me tightly. "I didn't save her either Okabe... Please stop blaming yourself..." She said quietly.
How could I not? How could I not blame myself as that screwdriver pierced her stomach, all the way through flesh and whatever bones were in the way. Her body falling to mine as she bled, the life in her eyes flickering away.
I'm afraid... I'm afraid to die...
"She was afraid..." I whispered and covered my face with my hands. Maho pulled my hand and I was crouched at her level.
"Of course she was... stabbed... Only 17 years old... She had so much to live for." Maho said quietly.
I shook my head. "I witnessed her death... I held her in my arms as she died... I heard her last words. She was afraid to die..." I say, feeling the beginning of another panic attack coming on. I reach into my pocket and gulp down a few pills, with a gulp of water and just had to face the 15 minutes while the drugs kicked in. Maho held my hand while my breathing became more rapid and heavier. She held my hand while I cried. She held my hand, I focused on her hand in mine. The doors finally opened and Maho pulled me out and I was out as quick as possible. Leskinen opened a room with a key, silver and polished, while Maho kept me calm. She gently pulled me inside and sat me on a chair, pushed me in and I lay my head on the desk. She sat opposite me I think because I felt her small hand once more on the back of mine. Acting as my anchor I eventually looked up to see her smiling gently and holding a tissue to wipe my tears away.
"Okabe... You don't have to meet her today... If you can't handle this I would understand fully... I'm sure the professor would too. We could go back out and you could show me around... Distract yourself for a little... If it would help you... You could consider it a little date of sorts." She said holding my hand once more. I nodded slowly, keeping my head low, my eyes red and my body still shaking from the fear and anger and sadness I felt. She stood up and walked around the desk, hugging me from behind. I held my hands to hers, which were upon my heart. She stared at me with reddened cheeks and my face must have been the same, she looked away and I chuckled while the professor nodded to us that we could leave. I held her hand this time while she led me to the elevator, as soon as she selected the ground floor and the doors shut her arms were around me tightly and now she was crying. I didn't know how to help her so I just stroked her hair, and rubbed circles on her back as she cried. "I'm so sorry for you... You loved her didn't you?" She asked.
I had to be honest, with a single nod she smiled. "And she loved me back... But... It wasn't here..."
The elevator suddenly jutted to a stop and the light flickered off before turning back on. The cable had stuck. I groaned as did Maho and we slipped down the wall beside each other. Our hands found each other and she lay her head on my shoulder. "Well I could have had worse company," She teased as she looked up at me.
"Stuck in here..." I say quietly. "With a pretty cute girl to be honest, yeah it could be worse..."
"Cute?!" She squeaked and her face turned beetroot red.
I nod slowly and she buried her head in my chest. I chuckle and hold her there as she screams like a child from the embarrassment of being called cute. She then pulled away and I let her, then she looked up at me with big green eyes. "Better?" I ask, knowing that sometimes I just need a scream to calm myself down.
"P-Prove it!"
"Eh?"
"Prove I'm cute!"
I tilt my head, obviously confused as of to how to 'prove' that Maho was cute. I tentatively reach a hand out and pat her head. She looks at me like a lost kitten and then giggles, as she says what I was doing. "Pat, pat, pat... Okay you proved it you can stop now," She said blushing, and looked away from me, pouting.
I stopped patting her head and her head found its home on my shoulder. She yawned and looked up at me. I smiled and whispered. "Sleepy?"
"Sleepy... Is it okay if I take a little nap just now?" She asks, her eyes already shut and ready to drift off to sleep. I chuckled and nodded my head, laying it atop hers. She was soon sound asleep, and I followed after.