When I'm Ready

Chapter 1

When I came to this world I started to exist. My mother wasted 15 years preparing me, so that I would be ready. But now that it's time to go I'm afraid, there's so much I want to tell her. I kind of wished that my friends were still here, I watched them leave, one by one.

My bag sat there, on my bed, filled with memories and things I used to be. My room now looks quite empty; dust-free shadows were my stuff once used to be. I open my drawer, countless jewelry fall out, I dig in there for a bit making a mess on the ground. Inside I find a small box, black as ebony, and take off the key from around my neck. As I insert it deep inside, I feel my memories drain out. Neatly placed a broken shape lay; one side sharp and jagged, the other smooth and round, but pointy at the bottom.

I lift up my shirt and pry open the cold metal cage underneath and place the object inside, it's a perfect fit. All of a sudden I feel empty, something that I haven't felt for a long time, I feel a abrupt urge to complete me. I feel cold inside like this 'heart' was made of ice. I ain't stupid, I know the rules, but still, it felt weird. I slowly close the cage, locking it just to be sure. I hesitate to take the key, but what could go wrong? 

I grab my bag, double checking I have everything I need, I take my sweater because I know that it's gonna be cold. I take one last glance at my room; I don't want to forget.

I rush downstairs to my mother, she is standing in the hall. As I come closer I notice that she has a large bag in her hand, as I walk towards her she hands it to me, it's quite heavy but I'm thankful. I hug her tight, I wish father was here; I haven't seen him for a month but he was supposed to come back today. I wish that I could tell him how much I love him; I wish that I didn't have to go.

My eyes start stinging as I hold back the tears. I'm gasping for air as I cry shamelessly, she holds me warm in her arms, telling me not to cry. But I can't stop myself, I have no control. She loosens her grip but I don't want to let go.

I stand next to the open doorway, a cold breeze penetrating the warm atmosphere. I look at her. This will be the last time I see my mother. Her eyes as green as emerald and her hair as dark as night, she smiles at me warmly "You'll see me," she says " in your other life." 

I wonder who she is.

I step out of the door, I feel alone, for the first time in my life. The sky looks beautiful, a sea above the world mixed with purple autumn leaves and tiny pieces of shiny gold. It's breathtaking. I turn around, but there's nothing behind me. I mean, what did I expect? Though for a moment it felt like something was missing, but I don't know what it could be; I've been alone my whole life.

*  *  *

I don't want to forget.