Faded

Chapter 1 "Missing"

"May 18, 2005. She ran out into the rain, without turning around. I watched, until the fog had cleared and she had faded. I remember sitting with father, and waiting for hours for her to come back. She didn't." The psychologist  jotted some notes down, he was using a red ball-point pen. He only stopped to glance up at me occasionally. I was shaking nervously. He put down the green paper thin folder, and looked at me. He put his elbows on his knees, and his hands on his chin. HIs white lab coat was wrinkled, and it bothered me a bit. He occasionally had to move some brown hair out of his face, and when he did I could see his brown eyes clearly. His jaw was tight. "Have you had anymore nightmares lately." We sat there and silence for a while. I looked at his white lab coat. "Yes." I finally spoke up, my voice cracking. "Can you explain the nightmares?" I looked around the room, for something, but I was not sure what it was. I turned my attention to his jaw-line which had tightened again. I began to think about the nightmares, I have had throughout the few months. Every bad thing that could have happened to my sister, reliving the moment she ran, and I stayed. Suddenly my heart started pounding, my head was dizzy, and I could feel his eyes staring at me, waiting for an answer. I started combing my hair with my hand.  I feel tense... Then I swung my left arm out, and knocked his blue flower vase on the light bright yellow table, the glass shattering, I could feel the water on my feet, I got up and ran out of there as fast as I could. I slammed the door behind me, and put my back up against the wall. The hallways were empty and I could feel my stomach drop. I looked down at my pink t-shirt, and ripped blue jeans, which looked marvelous compared to the color of the pale green walls which, made me feel sicker. I slid down the wall slowly, until I hit the ground. I have been out here for about fifteen minutes.  Images of my sister lash through my mind like a tornado, swirling inside of me making me wonder how she looked now, how she'd grown. Did she have brown eyes and black hair like dad, or blonde hair and blue eyes like mom. Was she pale like mom? Maybe tanned like dad? Or maybe she looked like me, black hair and blue eyes and very pale skin. A mix of both my mother and father. I began to cry, as the doctor came out and bent down to talk to me. He had gained some weight over the years, I could tell, he was about forty and he moved sluggishly at times. I turned on my side so he could not see my face, My black hair whipped me in the nose "Kristin. Are you alright?" That was a stupid question. It was obvious I wasn't. I have nightmares every night. I stopped working and moved in with my friend. I am not going to get better. I stayed as quiet as I could, and continued to let the tears roll down my face. I wiped my eyes with my arm. "Kristin, why don't we step back into my office and talk?" I nodded my head, and slowly got up. He patted me on the back, as if I was a child. I'm not. I walked with him back into the office, his office is filled with random colors. His office has light brown walls, a simple orange couch and a black wooden desk. It's small and none of the colors matched.  We headed back to the orange couch and I sat down. Tense. "Kristin it's been 7 years, and you still have not recovered. You started phycology at age thirteen. You're Twenty now." Tears in my eyes were making my vision blurry. "I know. I am getting better... I think" He shook his head. "No Kristin, you're not." I knew where this was going because he had mentioned this at our last meeting. "Maybe it's time to check you into St. Yedens." St. Yedens was a hospital that helped people of all ages with depression, and other disorders that have to do with an abnormal mind set. " I don't want go." I spoke sternly. "Many kids have gotten good treatment, and have ended up living perfectly normal lives." I knew he was not telling me everything, for the last seven years he has taken tests on my mind, and fears. He never gave me any of the results. "Why can't you just find my sister instead of making me go to that place." He jotted down more notes, and his eyebrows went up slightly. He looked annoyed. "It's complicated Kristen." What. "complicated? My whole life is complicated." I mumbled, hoping he would notice my anger. He shifted his position swiftly, and put down the folder. "Listen, your sister is different then most. "His voice was filled with uncertainty. I thought for a moment, before speaking." I am not going to St. Yedens. I am going to find my sister." He glared at me. "You're going to St. Yedens, this is not your decision. Anymore." not my decision? "Whose decision is it then?" He took of his glasses and placed them on the table. "It's your sister's decision." My sister! "That impossible!" He shook his head, and looked straight into my eyes, as if he could see through me. "Listen, your sister... she wants you to go." She wants me to go? "She's gone, and I have to find her, I am not going to sit here and listen to your stupid mind games." he began to jot down more notes, and it engaged my anger, I jumped out of my seat and raised my voice. "DON'T JUST SIT THERE AND JOT DOWN NOTES! TELL ME WHATS GOING ON! I AM SO SICK OF PEOPLE LIKE YOU! KEEPING SECRETS!" At first he was taken back, but moments later he stared up at me. "Kristin, your sister wants you to go." He said it quietly, almost a whisper. "Where is she?" I feel confused. "I don't know." ok. "Then how is it her decision? How do you know she wants me to go?!" I was still standing, my fist clenched. "HOW DO YOU KNOW!!" Had he known where she was all this time? Were they talking? That means she is not dead! "TELL ME WHAT IS GOING ON!" I looked at him with a cold heart. He finally spoke up. "I got a call from St. Yedens while you were in the hallway." What is he talking about? "So?" He rolled his eyes. "Elizabeth Greene has signed you into the hospital." He stared at me. "Before you ask, yes, your sister is alive."