i'm laying in bed, my chest is heavy.
i can barely breath, i decide to get up and shower.
the bathroom is cold, i slip out of my clothes. goose bumps form all over my body, i stare at my reflection for a split second then jump into the shower.
warm water hits my shoulders and trickles down my stomach.
the bathroom, now covered in fog
the mirror all steamy. tears stream down my cheeks, i drop to the floor. i'm sitting here shaking. telling myself to breath. i don't know whats wrong, this is the first time in six months.
i knew i shouldn't have moved back home.. i just missed it, the warm brisk air - wind blowing in my face. i've missed my friends, my mom.. i shouldn't miss her .. but i do.
i grew up here, went to the same school for years, i've had the same friends also.. its my home or well it used to be.
--
looking in the mirror mascara running down my face, my hair dripping down my back. i still can't breath.. i slip into a large t-shirt then crawl back into bed. i lay here and stare at my ceiling trying to get these thoughts and nonsense out of my head. i feel like i'm drowning, these thoughts and fear are pulling me under, deeper and deeper into the darkness.
