Having Etiquette Kills.

After the whole attack with Bobby B. Esquire, I was put at another school. At the new school I was forced to wear a uniform and I had to have an etiquette class after school.

At the class I met some new friends and we made fun of our etiquette teacher, Ms. Garbonzo. We called her fat and we decided to annoy the crap out of her by throwing our utensils at her and laughing our faces off! Also we talked in stupid British accents and snorted like pigs when we laughed to annoy her even more. It was great until one of my friends threw a steak knife at her and it hit her in the back and she fell out the window!!

I couldn't stop laughing but the principle wasn't laughing because Ms. Garbonzo was dead!!!!! I giggled because she landed in a bush and she was so fat that she left an imprint on it!

The next few days were sad because my friend who chucked the knife was sentenced to prison for life. What really made me sad was he owed me ten bucks!! So at recess I mugged a 3rd grader and got my money. 

On Thursday we had a day off and since we hated the school so much we decided to trash it. As my friend picked the lock I looked to see if anyone was around. I didn't see anybody but I did feel an eerie disturbance as I walked in. 

We threw toilet paper in the teacher's lounge and spray painted the gym! We also stole a bunch of mints from the cafeteria and ate them like starved children. Then we walked into the etiquette classroom.

Just as we stepped in the doors closed and I heard them lock. We started to panic because we couldn't get out the window either and we didn't want to get caught.

Then I saw Mrs. Garbonzo in demon form climbing up the side of the building towards the room!! We started to get scared and hid under a table. I heard the window break and her footsteps in the room. 

Then she picked up a butcher knife. My friend started crying and Ms. Garbonzo flipped over the table and found her. She attacked her with the knife and my friend was left in pieces. My friend started to giggle because she looked like a doll with missing limbs. I'll never know why I always end up with the people who laugh at that kind of stuff.

I got the spraypaint and told my friends to stay down because I've done this before. I slid out from under the table and spray painted her in the face.

She screamed and then fell back. As she got up she threw her butcher knife at me but I dodged it. She stopped for a moment and said, "Do you want to know why I'm still alive?" I told her yes but I didn't let my guard down. 

"This school was built on an Indian burial ground. When I died an evil spirit possesed me and I now seek revenge.", she said. I wasn't really listening though, because I wasn't feeling so good from the mints. She quickly ran up to me and pinned me to the wall. I puked all over her and she fell to her knees.

I got a huge knife and said, " What's for dinner mom? Chopped GARBONZO!!!!!!!!" as I chopped off her head. After that I scolded myself for saying such a dumb line.

Later my friends and I got in a ton of trouble for vandilizing the school but got a break since were victims too. I also learned that in the middle of the night my friend was found dead in jail, in pieces. 

The police recognized me from last time and gave me a chocolate chip muffin. I screamed, " I F*CKIN hate chocolate chip!!!" and ran to my old school, asked for my history teacher, waited in the lobby, and I chucked it at her head.

                                                       THE END