Trumping And Drinking (An Excerpt)

The Art Of The Cocktail

Donald J. Trump can drive you to drink.

At any given moment, whether Trump is speaking on television or ranting on Twitter, many people may say, "I wish I had a drink, just anything to numb my brain." Whiskey would do. So would rum, vodka, or tequila. At times, you may just prefer rubbing alcohol to dull the senses. Okay, that's a joke. Really, it is.

Some of you may love Trump and can't stop celebrating. You believe he will make America great again, transform the country into a powerhouse where everyone is rich, everyone has healthcare (but not something called Obamacare), and everyone is saying "Merry Christmas" again.

For these Trump loyalists, a cocktail is a celebration drink. Go ahead. Enjoy the first drink in the book called "Victory" while smirking at your liberal comrades. Or maybe you prefer a fancy, golden champagne cocktail or a "Bad Hombre" because, after all, Trump slays all of his enemies even if his only ammunition is 140 characters.

For those of you who are just tuning in to Trump world as he becomes the most powerful man in the world, you'll want a cocktail or two to translate the confusion that Trump weaves. Trust me, you'll need a drink. Bigly.

You may think that Trump with all of his bluster and P.T. Barnum showmanship won't do much to harm the United States. Instead, his presidency will only be four years of Trump lining his pockets, and maybe if you are lucky, he'll line yours, too, with tax cuts and job opportunities that will boost the economy. Or he won't do much at all like other politicians in Washington. Why worry?

Still, you may need a drink as you maneuver the mire that inevitably exists when discussing politics with your friends. May I suggest the "Manhattan" or "Easy Money" to get that party started?

Then there are the millions and millions of Trump haters, who are paralyzed by the short-fingered man. For you, Trump's lack of experience flips you out. His brash rhetoric makes your blood pressure skyrocket. His snarky tweets wakes you up in the middle of the night. Your insomnia fuels a vicious cycle of anxiety. You cannot move past the fact that a man who looks like an Oompa Loopah with a dead albino ferret on his head is in the Oval Office. Trying times, right?

And regardless of your opinion of Trump, you should buckle up for the first 100 days of a Trump presidency.