Random Writing:A Collection

I'm Afraid

I've always told everyone I wasn't afraid of anything. That I could do anything because I could care less if I were to die. Therefore making me not fear anything. But recently I realized that I'm actually I'm afraid of everything..I'm afraid..of everything...I'm afraid of friendships...I'm afraid of love..I'm afraid spiders and the dark and heights and relationships and public areas and my mother. I'm afraid of commitment but I'm afraid of letting people go. Im afraid of getting attached. I'm afraid of being left alone I'm afraid of people leaving me, replacing me. Im afraid of forgetting important things or important people forgetting me. I'm afraid of trusting people I'm afraid of letting people know the real me. I'm afraid of telling people the things I've done because I'm afraid to lose them...I'm afraid of to tell people how truly fucked up my mind is because I'm afraid they'll look at me differently..I'm afraid they'll look at me like a freak or a psychopath....I'm afraid to do things other people don't because I'm afraid of what people will say about me. I'm afraid to be unique. I'm afraid to be what other people aren't. That's why I build my walls up so high that's why I'm so bitchy and so easygoing. That's why I'm so protective that's why I'm so clingy. That's why I am who I am. Because im afraid......and for the longest time I was afraid, to accept the fact that I was afraid.....but now I have...and I'm not sure what to do....but out of all the things I fear, all the things I'm afraid of, I fear myself the most. I fear what I do. I fear what I can do. I fear what I'll become. I fear my mind. I, am afraid, of myself.