Finding Me

            Finally tired I threw myself on my bed so I could attempt sleep for the usually forty-five minutes before I have to get up so I can get ready for school. School, I don’t hate it but I could surely do without. I could probably teach myself everything I need to prepare myself for college. I am a quick learner, and wouldn’t have to deal with the bullshit I deal with everyday. Since I was little it has always been the same thing, I do well there but I would rather never go back. I would rather do anything else but go back there.

            At my locker I wait for it, I know it’s coming.

“Morning fag.” And there goes my face into my locker; I stopped trying to protect my face a while ago. It doesn’t do anything anyway.

“Homework.”

“Here, and the answers to the practice test.” The papers were already out of my bag so they would leave me alone sooner. This deal started back in Middle School, I would do their homework they wouldn’t break my arm. I had one hell of a time lying about that one to my parents. Told them I was wresting with some guys and a move went wrong. My father seemed to buy it, he didn’t question it after that, my mother had a harder time buying it I think. As they walk away I start going into my locker, I could try to convince them that I am dating someone, Anne Shepherd, because I am. Our parents are good friends so they set us up once we were in high school but Chris and his friends won’t believe me anyway. They haven’t before.

“Hey Greg. You know you really need to stand up for yourself. You make me look bad.”

“Sorry Anne. I don’t see the point though, nothing is going to change it’s the world we live in.” Closing my locker I look over at her, her blue eyes are ticked at me for my answer while she tries to pull her long- iron pressed hair into a ponytail. She really is quite nice to look at, if only I cared. Well no, I do care, if only I could feel something towards her that resembled love.

“Look if you want me to stay with you then you need to man up. Sometimes I think you are gay. I mean you haven’t even once tried to get me in bed with you.”

“Sorry if I have standards.” Now pissed I leave her there, I’m dead when I get home. She’ll go home and tell her parents which will call mine and get pissed, awesome.

“You know what Greg, I’m not some two bit whore. I just want a guy that likes to try to show that he cares!”

Between her and Chris I really want to cut, only because I can’t scream. I don’t have the energy for this or the time.

“Anne I do care and if you wouldn’t be such a self centered bitch maybe you would see that! So I don’t want to sleep with you that doesn’t make an ass. And you know, the more I get to know you the more I don’t want to! Plus, you don’t need me for that anyway now do you. Last I heard you were sleeping with the pastors’ son!”

That seemed to shut her up as her face lit up in a deep red blush.

“Oh go to hell, you little piece of shit! We are so over!”

“I think I can live with that!” Going to turn from her and get to homeroom I felt her hand go across my face. If I had known that would have been the least of my troubles I may have asked for more.

            Apparently Anne told all of her friends that I was a douche bag before first period started and her friends have got the biggest mouths. I always said it was so they could suck on something I shouldn’t repeat, (I’m already in deep shit.) and I guess in this instance it’s more in terms of gossip than what they suck. By the end of the day the whole school knew we were through. They all knew that I was a scumbag and she broke up with me. Oh she made sure everyone knew that. Sadly that wasn’t what worried me, what did was my parents. If she told the school then she would tell her parents as soon as the final bell rang which meant I was dead when my parents got home and were called about it. I tried to tell them setting us up was going to be a mistake but they told me to shut up and be grateful that someone was interested.